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Thursday, May 12, 2005

Project Neurocam

Ok, so here begins my foray into the world of blogging. What better way to start blogging, than to have something to blog about!

Back in March 2005, I applied for Project Neurocam. Many people in Australia, New Zealand, and the rest of the world, had seen billboards around the place stating simply: "Neurocam", some with orange spray painting across them, some without. To add to this, Neurocam had a huge 20 page thread of discussion in one of my more regular online haunts,
Unfiction, so ofcourse it was worth checking out.

After sending in my application (which, back then, was a short name, age, email address form) I received back this letter:

Dear Applicant
Thank you for expressing interest in Neurocam. Your application has been forwarded to a designated officer within the Human Resources Security Division so that our organization can further evaluate your suitability for recruitment.

In the interest of facilitating an expedient assessment, the Human Resources Security Division is currently implementing a series of background checks. We apologize in advance for the potentially intrusive nature of these checks and assure you that Neurocam International only undertakes this course of action in the interest of protecting our propriety operational procedures. Any information gathered from this historical evaluation will be treated as strictly confidential.

If your application is successful you will be contacted by Mr. Charles Hastings, Head of Neurocam International’s Operations Division. Mr. Hastings will further inform you about the nature of the tasks Neurocam requires you to complete. An unsuccessful application will result in the cessation of all further correspondence between Neurocam and yourself.

Neurocam appreciates that, in 83.6% of instances, new applicants experience a desire to enquire about many issues which may further enlighten them as to the true nature of Neurocam. Due to the need to maintain a high level of operational security Neurocam is unable toprovide much of the information desired by entry level participants. We can, however, inform you of the following – Neurocam is a process which you are already part of. Having said this, if you do have any questions, please feel free to contact me directly. I will endeavor to answer as many of yourenquiries as Neurocam's Organizational Security Guidelines allow.

Thank you once again for expressing interest in Neurocam. I hope thatyour application will be successful and that I will soon have thepleasure of working with you.

Warm regards,

Maxwell KnightHead,
Human Resources Security Division
Neurocam International

Riiiiiight... 3 days later I received THIS email:

From: Neurocam Operations Division
Date: Mar 5, 2005 8:52 PM

Dear Applicant
To conclude Neurocam’s application process ALL APPLICANTS are required to complete the following questionnaire and perception-based assessment.
Please include your application details:
email address (if different from oneused for this application)

An assessment of the applicant’s suitability for operational deploymentwill be made following the fulfillment of these non-negotiablepre-requisites.
NEUROCAM QUESTIONNAIRE – NCI-1001/02 (Please include with perception assessment)1. How did you hear about Neurocam?
2. What are your expectations of Neurocam?
3. What is your lucky number?
4. Do you instinctively turn left or right?
5. Complete this sentence – “Neurocam is…”
Assess applicant’s perception abilities.

1. Write a detailed account of everything that happens between 4pm and9pm on Monday March 14, 2005. Pay particular attention to any occurrence which may be deemed “out of the ordinary”. Include in your account two images that represent the best and worst things that happen on Monday March 14, 2005.

2. Submit this report via email to by close of business Friday March 18, 2005.

Not Applicable.

As with all Neurocam assignments, you will be assessed on the manner in which you complete this assignment. Intelligence and creativity are traits highly valued by Neurocam and a demonstration of both of these will expedite your further advancement within the organization. Your application and aptitude in this assignment will be the basis for consideration for operational integration.

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

Uhuh. Well, needless to say, I completely forgot all about that. Anyway, I started reading the thread on
Unfiction again, and it piqued my interest AGAIN! Word on the street now is that Neurocam is an IDENTITY SCAM?!?!?!?! I've not seen any reports on it, and it has been around since about 2000, 2001, and I'm sure we would have seen some pretty serious news coverage if it was a scam. So here I am re-applying.

NB: It is important to note, here, that the only reason I gave as much detail about myself as I did, is because I'd already applied once before, and most of my information is available with a good day's google searching, so there's no point in hiding it. However, I have crossed it out here because Blogspot is the home of randomness, and I don't think I need every tom dick and harry just stumbling upon my full name / city / birthdate. However you will notice it was my birthday just the other day.

Good Afternoon.

I have already applied for Neurocam once before, however due to unforseen circumstances I was unable to complete my perception assignment, therefore my application was never completed.

I would like to take this chance to reapply please, and complete my application process, and hopefully become a Neurocam Operative.

Name: Caroline xxxxxx
DOB: 09 May 19xx
Preferred Operative Name: Operative C57
Preferred Email Address: (as sent)
City: xxxxxxxx
Country: New Zealand

What I have to offer Neurocam (in 250 - 300 words):

I have a very large worldwide network of acquaintances / contacts / friends, and can source many different things from all over the world if necessary. With this in mind I am able to perform any assignment that Neurocam tasks me, and I am also the absolute soul of discretion, therefore if secrecy is required, secrecy is upheld.

As well as all this, I am a regular person, with many different hobbies, so accordingly, many different abilities. I am very much into Motorsport and have been known to spin a spanner or two when needed. This should aid me in any automotive / mechanical assignments. Also I am very creative, as is shown in my Scrapbooking, and my writing. I have kept many online journals, and deleted them as they became redundant, and also many written ones, and have lots of writing experience whether it be fictional, editorial, or technical, such as my occupation requires. I am also well practiced in digital existence, and hold a well known online presence among a few internet communities, therefore can complete, to any extent necessary, any online assignments required by your organisation.

I may not be privy to the unfailable pickup line, but I do have a charm of my own which can be turned on and off at will. In short, I have a multitude of skills which should serve Neurocam well, if you let me. I am a very willing and eager participant of everything I do, and that will be reflected by the way I complete my assignments.

Thanking you in advance for your consideration,

And now I wait. I'll keep you posted.