So-Called-Wit

Baileys Mint Chocolate Mousse

2009-12-04T22:58:00.004+13:00

My first contribution to tomorrow night's party is a Baileys chocolate mousse - using Mint Chocolate Baileys! Nom Nom Nom! I didn't make the mousse from scratch because it's not worth the effort when I can buy 500g of premade chocolate mousse for $4.50 - much cheaper than the ingredients alone! This 500g tub, when whipped, netted me 45 chinese soup spoons of mousse, which is more than enough for my purposes.

Ingredients:

1 500g tub of Tararua Chocolate Mousse
1/4 Cup of Mint Chocolate Baileys
Lindt 70% Dark Chocolate or any other chocolate (for garnish)

Empty the mousse into a mixing bowl and beat it with an electric beater on high, and gradually add in the Baileys. You should beat for a good 5 minutes, and you'll know when you're done because the mousse will expand in volume, and the colour will pale considerably. A tip for beating with an electric hand mixer is to move the mixer around with a slow whisking motion to encourage air into the mousse. You just want to make sure you don't end up with a snack pack/dairy food looking lump of gloop at the end :)

I used disposable chinese soup spoons for my mousse, because the party isn't at my house, so I'd rather not have to cart any dishes all the way back home, but you might like to use shot glasses, or even meringues or brandy baskets. I used a piping bag and icing tip to transfer the mousse into the spoons without spilling it all over the bench.

Now they're in the fridge chilling, and hopefully setting (fingers crossed). They look a little gross ungarnished as they are, so when I get to the party tomorrow night I'll break out the old dark Lindt and shave some onto the mousse with a potato peeler :)

From the ashes...

2009-12-04T16:16:00.003+13:00

:) Yeah I'm back - kinda - couldn't keep away, yada yada. Only this time I'm back with an all new focus, one that pretty much everyone enjoys:

Food.

I've kind of discovered the joy of cooking - at least cooking food that's yummy, so I figured I'd return to blogging to document it and share some of my lessons learned (if I actually learn any).

I'll start by blogging about some mini desserts I'm making for a friend's engagement party tomorrow night. I impulsively bought a pack of 100 plastic chinese spoons (you know, those long deep spoons that you drink soup with at yum cha), and I plan on filling those with Chocolate Mousse and my twist on mini tiramisu. On top of that, I absolutely fell in love with a recipe, by Giada Delaurentis, for blueberry and mascarpone mini turnovers, so I"ll be attempting those, or at least a version of those.

Ciao for now!

Neglected much?

2009-05-02T11:54:00.002+12:00

Yeah... uhhh, sorry about that. I blame twitter actually. Why bother blogging when you can just pick up your phone and tap out what ever's on your mind at the time?

Anyway, I think this blog's pretty much done. If you have the burning urge to keep up with my mundane mutterings, follow me on twitter - http://twitter.com/CaroNZ, and flick me a DM to say hi. I'm also on facebook somewhere - but not much these days.

Ofcourse, sometimes there are things I need to say that just won't fit in one tweet, so the blog will remain open for intermittent soapboxery, but otherwise it's sayoonara from me, aufwiedersehn (sp?), au revoir, laters mate.

C

Stop Childhood Racism

2008-12-08T13:30:00.003+13:00

I've just finished reading a sad story about an 11 year old asian girl who was being taunted on the bus about her ethnicity. You can read about it here also: http://livingmyotherlife.com/2008/11/25/protecting-my-childs-innocence/ (thanks to Mike for the tip). This story in particular strikes a chord with me because it's very similar to a personal experience of mine when I was a child that I thought I would share.

When I was 7 or 8, I was riding my bike around the neighbourhood. A boy from a younger class at my school rode up along side me and started a long string of taunts. He called me a white n*gger. He told me to "go home". He told me I was poisoning the neighbourhood. He started sing-songing his words, following me the entire way as I cycled as fast as I could to get home, where I would be safe from his taunts.

Being not older than 6 or 7 himself, he can't have thought up all that hate by himself, and must have been repeating it from somewhere. As I had never heard those words at school, or anywhere else, it was believed that the racism might have come from his parents.

His mother was a teacher at my school, and not long after the incident, gave birth to a child afflicted with Down Syndrome. If indeed it was Mr and/or Mrs X that planted the seed of racism, I'll bet they were quick to yank it to prevent any possible nastiness towards her youngest son.

I still remember the name of this boy.

I wonder if he remembers that day at all.

I do. I always will.

Snow, Gadgetry, Alcohol, Games

2008-08-13T11:06:00.006+12:00

That about sums up the weekend I had. A quick (4.5 hour) drive down to Ohakune for a weekend of Snowboarding, Drinking, and Games. "Where's the gadgetry" you ask?

My shiny pretty new iPhone.

(queue angel music, and rays of sunlight beaming down)

I could go on and on about how cool it is, but I'm sure you've already read that from other people. I am about a month late on the bandwagon afterall. Instead, I'll put up some pics from my iPhone :D

And... the requisite screenie...

Intelligence...

2008-07-28T11:56:00.003+12:00

... is not driving to Whangarei in the middle of "the worst storm in decades".

Here are some reasons why:

Fine Dining - what is it?

2008-06-30T09:44:00.004+12:00

Ok, this is just a quick one.

I'm involved in a discussion via email with some friends over "fine dining". My friend wants to spend a great deal of money on a dinner with his girlfriend at one of several restaurants listed on cuisine.co.nz as "fine dining restaurants", just to get the "fine dining" experience.

Now, I've been to my fair share of supposedly "fine dining" restaurants, and my take is that New Zealand wouldn't know fine dining if it picked up the salad fork and water glass and bashed itself over the head with them.

So my question to anyone that cares is, what makes fine dining? Is it the amount of cutlery at each place setting? Is it the price? Is it the quality of the food? Is it the food size to plate size ratio? And has anyone experienced true silver service in any restaurant in New Zealand?

I might not have experienced true silver service fine dining yet, but I can tell you what does not make fine dining, and that is having Lindauer anywhere on the wine list, and making Moët the most expensive champagne available.

Ever wanted to set a world record?

2008-06-13T11:09:00.004+12:00

The official date for the release of Firefox 3 is June 17 - Join the crew and download your free copy of firefox 3 on June 17 to help firefox set the world record for most software downloads in 24 hours!

Hattip to Miramar Mike :)

Customer Satisfaction

2008-06-12T10:01:00.003+12:00

This is a 3 litre box of Vanilla Latte, complete with cups and lids, from Starbucks on the Victoria St / Federal St corner, next to Sky City. I'm a regular there, every morning for my tall latte, and so today (after another lady took my order), they made up a big 3l bladder of vanilla latte for me to take to work and share with my colleagues!! :)

So, everyone here now has piping hot vanilla lattes. Infact there's still half a box left, and it's still pouring hot 1 hour later :)

Thanks Starbucks :) You might have a bad rep, but I love you anyway!

So true...

2008-05-28T12:49:00.004+12:00

What I need to add, is that our youngest cat likes to eat the other cat's vomit.

yeah. that's what I said too.

Inventive Advertising

2008-05-16T11:00:00.006+12:00

Adidas has brought out a new shoe called the Cope. It's pretty frickidy cool, and I would buy it if I were a sneakerphile, but my interests lie in the high heel arena of footwear, and if I were to buy a sneaker, it would be from these cool cats at Qubic (ups to Unkie Frank!). But enough of my shameless plugs. The inventive people who do the creative work for Adidas' Cope campaign came up with this excellent idea:

I love it! Let's stir up some fake controversy, and get the people talking! And, well, it worked. This is my regular bus stop for weekday evenings, and when I took this picture, there were a number of other people around me taking the same picture - and none of whom you would consider in the usual demographic for the product. They created a buzz alright! And the campaign extends further. In Australia the campaign appears to have kicked off with a tv ad, advertising the "zero-tag" organization, out in the world trying to stamp out graffiti. Their website discusses "Banned items" that are used to perform "Banned Activities". Such items include the usual spray paints, posca paint markers, but also...

Artbooks and publications
Blood
Beetroot (cans)
bumper stickers
Chlorophyll (my personal favourite!)
Chocolate
Footlocker / Adidas Cope Apparel
Olive Oil
Squid Ink

And the list does indeed go on. I highly recommend visiting the site for a laugh.

Build a bridge...

2008-05-06T13:48:00.003+12:00

I stumbled upon the site Getacross.org.nz (thanks to Aucklandista) who are trying to raise enough support to convince the appropriate authorities to build a pedestrian / cycle way on the clip on lanes so that cyclists and pedestrians can cross the harbour without having to drive, or wait/pay for a ferry. I think this is a fantastic idea, and would surely become a tourist attraction aswell (along the same vein as Shanghai's Bund Sightseeing Tunnel perhaps :P ) . So Click through and show your support!

Also I see there's a girl geek dinner coming up later this month in Auckland. Anyone going?

Triumphant Return!

2008-04-30T12:02:00.002+12:00

This post is my triumphant return to blogging!

.....

...

No need to cheer all at once...

Anyway...

A few bullet points to kick things off:

Cooler weather = ability to wear boots without drowning in a pool of icky foot sweat. Yay Boots!
I do actually have new glasses, and sorry for the RickRolling. Pic following. Eventually.
The iPod Touch wins my award for best new toy, and I am pretty much in love with mine. if it weren't for the likelihood of my bricking an iphone I probably would have bought one of those, but the iPod Touch is JUST as cool!
The end of the financial year always ensures that I am chock full of work. Funny how now that I'm really super busy, I make my first real blog post in weeks...
If the weapons training didn't prove it, then intended destruction of the Waihopai Spy base did - they're terrorists, plain and simple.
Cooler weather / school holidays = teens / preteens coming into the city wearing far too little, and my ability to laugh at them when they get caught in torrential rain...
Winter's coming, and the chalet is booked! Get ready for 'falling-on-her-bum" photos...

Yay! good post. With all that thinking and typing I think I need a drink... Or at least some chocolate..

New Glasses!

2008-04-04T10:18:00.004+13:00

The latest and greatest in Caro news - I'm blind!

Well, not really, but I am exeriencing eyestrain that could very well be the cause of my debilitating headaches, so I've been prescribed glasses for computer work! I picked up a pair of sexy DKNY frames from OPSM (the Prada ones I wanted were entirely too much for something that would only be seen at home and the office), and they are now a fixture on my face between the hours of 9am and 4.30pm. Click HERE for pics of my newfound geekiness :)

365 Days - Progress - 365:1

2008-03-06T15:43:00.005+13:00

The day is wearing on, and I am yet to take a self portrait photo that I am happy with. Infact, I only knocked out two today before the battery died. I'll give it a charge up at home and see what I can come up with later in the evening.

So there you go folks - I might not even last a day!

EDIT:

SUCCESS! Well, that's a relative term, I guess. I succeeded in taking a picture, faffing about in photoshop, and uploading it to Flickr. As far as general success goes though, the shot is fairly lacking. The picture is crap (the subject matter is difficult to say the least...), but it's day 1, so I think I'm allowed to suck right now. PLUS all this is being taken with a compact (Sony DSC W80). So go easy eh?

Where does the time go?

2008-03-05T11:29:00.009+13:00

So, I can't really claim to keep a blog at all these days, not when it's been 2 months since I last posted. So here I am, trying to change this! Inspired by one of my flickr contacts, I've decided to post a photo a day. Hah! Anyone that reads this more than once will know how likely THAT is to last, so I'l take bets. Feel free to comment and give your opinion on how long I'll keep this up. My bet? A week.

OK, so, I got married! The wedding went off without a hitch, it was beautiful, weather was great, yada yada all the usual. And here are a couple of pictures!

We didn't go on a Honeymoon. Instead we forked out the honeymoon money on a brand spanking new, pretty 1080p 47" Phillips Cineos LCD. It's all pretty and with the new tv I was able to FINALLY get a long and low cabinet to go with it (doors coming eventually), and I am finally happy with how the entertainment system looks. Here's a photo!

And for those that don't care, as usual, here's a funny (I truly love this one...)

Brilliant :D

Happy New Year!!!

2008-01-03T11:23:00.000+13:00

Welcome to 2008! And even though I say it every year, and this year is no exception: Boy does time fly?

As you might have guessed from my last brief post, we spent Christmas in Christchurch with beautiful dry sunny weather. The only problem is that without much humidity, you tend to feel the 22 degrees for what it actually is - ie not the scorching sticky hot temperature one is used to in Auckland. Infact, I'd go so far as to say 22 degrees is almost 'cool'. hah!

With Christmas out of the way, it suddenly feels like the wedding is bearing down on us with rapidly increasing speed. 2 weeks and 1 day infact. WOOHOO!!!

Ok, so on to New Years resolutions. Let's see how I did with last year's resolutions?

1) Continue not smoking (if I can make it to a year, then my life insurance and medical and income protection decrease!) - Done and Done!
2) Continue going to the gym (so I haven't been since before Christmas... I"m sure I'll go back soon...) - Done and then Undone. meh.
3) Not default on a mortgage payment (it would take a pretty big economic depression, and some hefty spending on our part to default) Done
4) Not break up with Matt (he might decide he hates me...) Well getting married...
5) Not kill the new Kitten - Oh my god, nearly undone this one, twice!
6) Travel somewhere else (already booked and paid for - tick!) Done Twice!
7) SET A GODDAMNED DATE! - Done and Done!

So not at all bad for NY Resolutions!.

hmm.. suddenly ran out of things to say... ok! back to 'work'

To Summarise...

2007-12-20T18:59:00.000+13:00

Koru Club Domestic Lounge in Auckland does better food than Koru Club International,and has pineapple lumps
It still hasn't quite hit me that Christmas is in a few days. What a scrooge.
We have a fence going up... it'll probably be tagged before we come back from ChCh and are able to see it.
My dress is getting yet MORE alterations. Fussy fussy!
I'm getting married in 29 days!!
Meh, I'm just too lame to summarise. Must be time for more wine!

If I remember rightly, the last time I took a domestic flight, the koru club lounge had bubbles (albeit lindauer). I can't see any this time. Probably just aswell. Oh well, it's time to say good bye to lovely humid and warm Auckland... :(

I <3 JT

2007-11-24T08:37:00.000+13:00

And the thing is, I'm not usually a groupie at all! Last night, as I grooved to the pulsing beats of today's Prince of Pop, mere metres - not even that at some times - my inner groupie just sort of clicked... And I turned into a screaming fan.

First of all, I have to say, I truly feel sorry for anyone that forked out $344 for a SexyBack Bar Stool seat. Sure, they were great seats, but you weren't allowed to get off them during the show (only in breaks), so you couldn't dance, and selected people with GA tickets (US!!!!) were given wristbands to watch the show - and dance of course - in the same area as the barstools. That is, right infront of / next to the stage, separated off by a barrier from the rest of the floor! Wahh! What a night!

The show was fantastic, and it was really good to see that we didn't get a ripped off, dulled down version of the US tour. From what I've seen in the videos of his Madison Square Garden show, the dancers were the same, and just as much energy was put into this show as in NYC.

Sorry my pics are crap, I didn't bring my real camera for fear of confiscation, but the big security guards (the ones that looked like they were JT's personal bodyguards) told us at the last minute that we could take pictures, but no recording video. So I whipped out Matt's phone and tried my best.

JT really worked the crowd well, telling us how much he loved what he's seen of New Zealand so far (and from a hot air balloon, he had the best view of the house!). His talk of having recently visited Australia was met with a whole stadium of boos. He played it well: "I know... I know. I know! But see, I'm from Switzerland..."

Vector Arena broke out a collective shrug as the reference to neutrality was lost on almost everyone:

"...figuratively... you know, I'm not actually from Switzerland"

Yeah.. I know what you mean Justin... none of these other girls do. See, we understand each other... you could have an intelligent conversation with me... I think they call it pillow talk....

Oh. Sorry about that. My imagination almost got away with me there...

Ok, Assassins Creed and Mass effect are out now. Time to go pick them up and spend the day playing on the box! Ooh who else is looking forward to Rockband??!?!

excitement

2007-11-23T11:24:00.001+13:00

Today is brought to you by the letters J and T...

JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JTJT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JTJT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT JT

Un co-ordination

2007-11-19T11:54:00.001+13:00

Now, I always thought I was a bit of ok when it came to dancing. Did a bit of dancing in school, accompanied by some amateur choreography for stage challenge and the like, not too shabby at all. All was fine as far as coordination and dance ability was concerned - right up until yesterday afternoon.

Yesterday Matt and I journeyed to his cousin's place to take a foray into the world of Ceroc dancing in an effort to prepare ourselves for our first dance at the wedding reception. That is where I discovered my new found uncoordination!

I can't describe exactly where it all went wrong, and the excuse I used yesterday was "I think my stiletto heel is getting caught in the carpet...", but I think it mostly had something to do with the twirling, and my lack of balance.

Anyway... I am definitely hoping for a markable improvement in the weeks to come. 8 weeks of lessons and practice left...

'Do Gooders' Lose

2007-11-14T12:43:00.000+13:00

The Dominion Post, this morning, revealed a startling truth in todays edition of the daily newspaper. This startling truth came in the form of information from an affidavit sworn by a NZ Police Detective in the Manukau District Court. This affidavit specifies evidence gathered from bugged phones, bugged camps, manual surveillance and hidden cameras, and shows the reasons behind the dawn raids of Tame Iti and his group of 'terrorists'.

If you haven't yet read it, read it now, before someone gets a court injunction to take the article off the net and recall all editions of the paper. Of the article, the Dominion Post's editorial says:

We believe we are acting within the law. We also believe we are acting in the public interest. We know that publishing the material could have huge repercussions, and we considered the issues at stake carefully before deciding to go ahead.

The article, headlined "Get Someone to Assassinate the PM", tells of phone conversations held regarding assassination of National Party Leader John Key, and George W Bush.

Bet you didn't expect that last one.

To quote the article:

'On August 16 this year, police intercepted a conversation between two suspects in a car. They discussed Mr Bush and speculation that he could visit New Zealand - and talked of using a sniper's rifle.

The police affidavit says: "I believe this relates to a hypothetical conversation about how they could kill the president of the United States of America, George Bush, and a conversation about the effectiveness of firearms."

In another bugged conversation, in a car on August 17, a suspect talks of killing Mr Key after the next election: "Get someone to assassinate the prime minister, the new one, next year's one. Just been in office five days, bang ... Yeah, John Key ... just drop a bomb ... Just wait till he visits somewhere and just blow them ... They won't even find you." '

And towards the end of the article:

'In other bugged conversations, police say they heard talk of making nail bombs, targeting Parliament and screening recruits. Conversations refer to IRA and al Qaeda training manuals and police say one suspect said he would show another how to make napalm. '

With all this evidence in broad day light, and made available to the public, I wonder if we'll still see "activism is not terrorism" banners adorning Queen Street and other parts of the city? Or will the do gooders wake up and see what's really been going on under their noses the whole time?

P.S the term Do Gooders is one I picked up from my Father, I didn't make it up! Honest!

P.P.S You'll notice I turned comments off. I figure this post might ruffle a few feathers, or at least bring some opinions out. Well, this is my blog, so this is my opinion, and I can turn comments off whenever I want to :) If you've got a differing opinion, feel free to blog about it on your own blog :) If you feel strongly that I should hear your opinion, though, please feel free to email me - caronz@gmail.com

Join the Craze!

2007-11-08T09:27:00.000+13:00

Bullet points! They work for me, seeing as I have absolutely no motivation to write any witty, lengthy monologues, nor do I have the time. So bullet points (this one's for you Martha) !

My Dress is estimated to arrive on December 20
I leave Auckland for Christchurch on December 20
Dress store re opens on January 3
The wedding is on January 18

Does anyone see any potential issues here...?

DJ is booked and paid for
Reception Decorators are booked and paid for
Men are trying on suits on Saturday
Weddings are hella expensive!
I need a haircut badly

aww who am I kidding. I suck at this bullet point thing. And there's nothing I can even put at the end of this post to make it worth while reading! Oooh except..

Justin Timberlake in 2.5 weeks!! Yay :D

To Do list...

2007-10-16T15:46:00.001+13:00

Hotels: Check!
Hair and Makeup: Check!
Invitations Mailed: Check!

Pay $900 Vet Bill: Check!

:(

Tyson got hit by a car a week and a half ago again. He lived, after much worry and fretting, and is on the mend with just a broken pelvis and weeping belly wound to speak of. Ofcourse, his life is well worth paying for and I do not regret getting him at all...

But $900!!! That's the price of a 32" LCD!

If only we got that pet insurance...

GIFT REGISTRY!

2007-10-11T10:39:00.001+13:00

OH What fun! Making lists at stores of stuff that I want other people to buy me! It's a beautiful concept! Thankyou oh inventor of gift registries!

Smith and Caughey's have the cool scanner thing which added a bit of technology to the process.
me: "I want that!"
assistant: *scans*... *beep* "Next?"
me: "those..."
assistant: *scans*...*beep* "Next?"
me:
"OOOH Vera Wang Wedgewood dinnerware...."
(like anyone coming to our wedding would actually buy it for us...)
assistant: *scans*...*beep* "Next?"

And so it went.

Millys was much easier. All online, didn't have to go into the store once (which is GREAT because I hate trying to park on a Saturday afternoon in Ponsonby...)

And the best thing is a thing called My Registry. You can list pretty much anything you like from any store, online or off, include prices, pictures, etc, but ofcourse you don't get the free wrapping and delivery. What it is is basically a wish list, but the guests select what they're going to buy, and then the website sends us details of who's buying what - making the thankyou process that much easier!

And the guests don't have to buy the products from the listed stores. If they see the same product somewhere else, they can buy it there, and just tick it off on the registry! It's brilliant!
So all our Mitre10 and Palmers Garden Centre vouchers are up there, and a universal remote that's on The Deal, and other random things that I happen upon in my online browsing :)

Aaah gift registries. Love 'em :D

p.s - I'm well aware that this is my first entry since that game on Sunday Morning. I won't be saying anything about it, except to say that I still believe the ABs played great rugby. On paper they should have won that game, when you consider territory, possession, tackles made / missed, lineouts made / missed, etc, but they didn't. They're still ranked #1 in the world, and they're still #1 to me.

If nothing else, it'll just be a bit easier (hopefully) to get tickets for 2011. come 2010 I might have to buy a season pass for Eden Park just to get first look at RWC tickets. Let's wait and see shall we?

p.p.s - I noticed that S&C got rid of that brilliant corner on the first floor where they sold miss sixty and Dolce and Armani for women. Highly Highly annoyed. Does anyone know if they've ditched Dolce & Gabbana completely? Or have they assimilated all the cool clothes in amongst all the other racks?

Wedding Update

2007-10-04T11:17:00.000+13:00

Florist: Check!

Hopefully Invitations and RSVPs come back from the printers this weekend, and will be in the mail by Tuesday next week!

And the count: 15 Weeks to go.

Awwww crap!!!

In more manly news: Bathurst this weekend! Who will YOU be rooting for?

GO HOLDEN!!

Passing on the Tales of Woe

2007-09-25T11:58:00.000+12:00

Today's Story is about Swann Insurance.

Derive whatever messages you want from this story, Far be it from me to dare tell anyone what companies they should or shouldn't use...

Mrs Llew was on her way back to SunnyO from somewhere, when the little warning light went on (Yellow Alert, not as serious as Red Alert), telling her to drive to an authorised workshop ASAP. She drove home of course.

The car would not start again after that.

Help was at hand though, we have an extended warranty through Swann Insurance.

I rang their 0800 number.

I chose the "Emergency Breakdown Service".

More after the jump

Stuff and Whatnot

2007-09-20T15:40:00.000+12:00

Following on from the previous post, I bought a dress. A beautiful white wedding dress (gown, whatever). It's not too poofy and it's not too boring. I'd love to describe it in more detail, but it's not the kind of information for prying eyes! Just take my word for it that it's gorgeous :) I got it from Astra, which happened to be my first stop on the day of shopping madness. I should have known that I would find the dress I wanted at the first store, but no matter now. Mum got her day of dress shopping and I got my day of humiliation and fatigue :)

Let me run down the top three dresses of the day, for anyone who cares.

Obviously I bought my #1 favourite, so I can't tell you about that. My second favourite of the day hails from a friendly young designer in Epsom, Theresa Lim. In particular I took a shining to the Baroness Dress (pictured left), which was a strapless white dress, with the slightest mermaid cut (it just skims over the hips, so not quite the 80's mermaid I had pictured thank God!), and a beautiful band of vintage styled jewelling at the top of the waistline. The problem with designer made dresses is that samples are usually the size of the model that took it down the runway, which makes it not conducive to trying on, so I couldn't be sure that the look would work on me. Hence why it is number 2, not number 1 :(

Number 3 (pictured to the right) is from Astra Bridal also, from a well known bridal gown company "Bonny". You can't see it, but it had gorgeous silver and crystal detailing along the top edge, and the bones in the bodice gave me a shape that I hadn't seen since I was 17!

As you can see, it was a tough decision, but a decision well made, I'm sure.

After a full on day trying on dresses (I skipped a store at the end of the day, I just couldn't be arsed!), I severely needed to de-stress. Saturday started off back at Astra paying for the dress and arranging fitting times and what not, then on to the reception venue, Mc Hugh's for lunch, and yet MORE wedding discussion.
Invitation lists were confirmed, addresses obtained, and proper spelling checked. It was noticed that the cutlery and crockery were pretty average, so decisions were made around hireage, and the budget for the wedding was extended yet again.

I feel slightly guilty sometimes when I think about the amount of money we're spending on the wedding. We could lay a deposit down on a few more houses for this amount... Or buy a new car... But I digress...

The next day after visiting our lovely friends Barry and Wendy, Wendy gave me her 12 goldfish (11 goldfish and 1 plecostomus catfish) to take home to the pond, as they had just gone tropical with their setup, and couldn't house the coldwater fish anymore. Now there's loads of activity in the pond, and my original fish are even out to play. Pictures to follow.

Sorry for boring you all stupid with talk of wedding.

Wait, I take that back. It's my blog, I'll write what I like :P

Hairy!

2007-09-11T15:51:00.001+12:00

I have THE hairiest eyebrows right now.

Due to a browshaping appointment at Forme (Ponsonby), I haven't plucked my eyebrows for 4 whole weeks.

It's torture!

Everytime I look in the mirror, this weird eyebrowed freak looks back screaming "TWEEZE ME! TWEEZE ME!"

I only hope Forme are better at eyebrow shaping than Spa de Serville who caused the un even-ness in the first place!

So the count down to beautiful eyebrows begins. 10 days to go and counting!!

Oh and more good news... We're going Dress Shopping on Friday. I bet you can feel the excitement pouring out of me.

Astra Bridal on Symonds Street at 10am
Theresa Lim in Epsom at 11.30am
Brides of May in the Atrium on Elliot at 2pm
Renee Bridal on Victoria Street at 3.30pm
Felicitys Bridal Studio at 5.30pm

yay. spending a whole day taking my clothes off and putting a bunch of dresses on then taking them off and putting my clothes back on, only to take them off again and put more dresses on.

I am ecstatic.

For the men who had to put up with reading that hideously girlish post, here's a funny from www.Engrish.com :

Oh yeah, I probably should have warned you about the package shot.

hehe

Planning

2007-08-22T09:30:00.000+12:00

Ok, thought it might be time to update on the Wedding plans.

We've booked the Reception Venue (Mc Hugh's in Devonport) and the Ceremony Venue (Alberton), and the string quartet (Troika strings) and the photographer (Chris Dillon). I've purchased 12 vases for centerpieces, 120 organza bags for wedding favours, and will hopefully have stationery sussed out this weekend thanks to our good friend John @ Acquire Design. By the end of next week (ie the end of August) I would like to have booked a celebrant, so that in September I can focus on a florist, cake maker, and most importantly, a dress.

What fun! :)

No really, it is! It's frickin fantastic fun! (oh the alliteration...)

What adds to the fun is that heaps of other ladies I know are getting married next year, so we're all giving each other contacts and helping each other out, which is pretty cool. Hopefully it all goes well for the lot of us.

Funny pic for today, just to keep some semblance of interest in this poor excuse for a blog:

TGIF!

2007-08-10T11:13:00.002+12:00

Today has thus far proven to be insufferably boring for me.

How about you?

Here. Have a funny picture.

Stand Against Child Abuse!

2007-08-07T10:39:00.000+12:00

Found this in my inbox this morning, and confirmed with a quick Google (see Scoop and TVNZ for details) Not entirely sure what the point is, but the likelihood is that I"ll be on my way to buy lunch anyway, so I may as well just stand for a few minutes... Why not join me?

Call for Nationwide ‘Stand’ Against Child Abuse

This Wednesday

12:12pm for 3 minutes

Family First NZ , For the Sake of Our Children Trust and the Sensible Sentencing Trust have joined together to call on all NZ’ers to stand against child abuse this Wednesday.
They are asking NZ’ers to stop whatever they are doing - to come out onto the street, outside the office or classroom, to stop their car or truck and stand outside their vehicle - and make a symbolic ‘stand’ against child abuse for three minutes at 12:12pm.
The three minutes represents the three short years of little Nia’s life, and the number 12 is significant as it represents the months of the year where children are abused, neglected and killed in NZ.
The three short minutes is an opportunity for each person to reflect on what each one of us can do to be part of the solution to our unacceptable rate of child abuse .
They are also requesting all radio stations to play Destiny Child’s “Stand Up For Love” during these 3 minutes. This song was the Anthem for the World Children’s Day 2005.
The three Trusts have also released the following statement:

Each week another New Zealand child’s precious life is extinguished or damaged because violent parents or caregivers will not meet or can not cope with their responsibilities.
We are sick and tired of doing nothing while our babies and children are being beaten and murdered.
We have allowed violent adults the right to silence, bail and parole, while babies’ and children's rights go undefended.
We have allowed political correctness to get in the way of speaking the truth.
We have allowed a succession of policies over the last 30 years to diminish the significance of family structure.
We have allowed children to be raised in homes with an unacceptable level of violence, drug abuse, family dysfunction, and emotional and physical harm.
We are alarmed that with all the government groups, Inquiries and Commissioners appointed to oversee and intervene, we still have one of the worst rates of child abuse in the world.
When our families are messed up, our nation is messed up.
We call for implementation of the following 5-point Action Plan:
1. establishing a non-political Commission of Inquiry comprising community leaders who are already working with at-risk families - to identify effective and achievable solutions to child abuse, and examining specifically the role of drug and alcohol abuse, family structure and breakdown, race-based issues, and poverty and stress.
2. immediate increase of support and resourcing of grass-root community organisations who are working with at-risk families and those attempting to stop abuse in the first place - for example HIPPY Foundation, Early Start, Plunket Helpline, Family Help Trust and other early childhood home-based programmes.
3. increased investment and availability of parenting and marriage programmes such as Parents Inc, Triple P and other community based programmes.
4. media-based anti-‘child abuse’ campaign , in the same way road safety ‘shock’ campaigns are run, raising the awareness of and encouraging ‘positive’ parenting and identifying what is abuse.
5. sentencing for those who abuse and kill our children to be substantially toughened to provide both a deterrent and a clear message of our community’s disgust with the actions of people who abuse children.

OUR CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING.
NO MORE.

Please forward this message on.

America to the Rescue!

2007-07-28T20:25:00.000+12:00

Jon Stewart - My Hero!

FYI I didn't steal this from Miramar Mike, Half-Pie Alan, or Kiwi Blog or No Right turn - instead one of my friends in the USA can be thanked for this!

Home again

2007-07-20T12:33:00.000+12:00

This blog's turning into a bit of a travel blog really, apart from the last post- but to be honest (and this might sound really quite fancy-pants, so excuse me..) traveling seems to be about what has been occupying my time the most.

If I'm not actually enroute anywhere, I'm considering it, and if I"m not considering it, I'm calling the travel agent, and if I'm not doing any of those, then I'm re-booking it, and blasting the travel agent for screwing it up in the first place!

Of course, my travels have probably ended for now, a mere 40 points off a status upgrade on my airpoints, and will pick up again with a trip to see parents in Christchurch for Christmas (huzzah) and hopefully (fingers crossed) a new Asian destination next February (location TBC).

For now, let's discuss the past week I spent in Queensland.

Prior to leaving, I had dreamy notions of tropical temperatures, maybe dipping down to as low as 15 degrees, but steadily sitting at 25+ for the daylight hours. People always talk about the Gold Coast being in perpetual summer, and I packed as such, with mini skirts and tank tops, sleeveless and strapless numbers, and only a light jacket / blazer to keep the edge off the evenings.

Imagine my surprise when I ventured out to Queen Street Mall, in my aforementioned skirt, tank top, and ballet flats, and froze. I bought my very first Supre item then and there, a pair of tights to try and warm my legs against the 10 degree shade. Matt had been in Sydney for the previous three days, and it had been raining cats and dogs the whole time (which apparently caught the Sydney-siders off guard, and turned all drivers into idiot lunatics)- but he too had packed inappropriately for the season. We were both on the hunt for warmer clothes. Matt didn't find any warm clothes though, but Tarocash at the Myer Centre found Matt something he didn't bargain for - his very first gay come-on! I'm sad I missed it, I was upstairs looking at some store or another. I'm informed it was hilarious though!!

Our original reason for coming to Brisbane was to attend a wedding, and as such most of our time was centered around alcohol (much much alcohol...), and catching up with friends. Lots of fun was had, and much drama was witnessed, but all in all we had fun.

I think this post is long enough now, I'll leave the Goldcoast part of our trip for another blogging day.

Ooh quick update on the wedding venues, I'm hoping that someone from Mantels in Mt Eden will call me back today so we can go see the venue and discuss catering options and available dates in the weekend. I really like the reviews from other brides who have held their weddings there, and the venue itself looks really nice from what I can tell on the internet plus, it's a BYO Venue, with no corkage charged!

Fingers crossed I may possibly have a date set by Monday! Of course, I'm not holding my breath, I am - if nothing else - a realist.

Planning

2007-06-29T09:18:00.000+12:00

I have been truly un-attentive to this blog, but then it's not like anyone actually reads it - so I'm not going to apologise for being swamped with work. Instead, I'm going to ignore the fact that I haven't posted for the last month (or whatever), and continue on like nothing ever happened! :)

I have been given the green light to start planning the wedding! First on my plate is to find and book a reception / ceremony venue, so as to have set a confirmed date! One of my main requirements for a venue is that I can provide my own alcohol, as venues generally charge ridiculous and unnecessary prices for crap wine.

The downside to having this requirement, is that it limits my options very severely. The upside, however, is that it limits my options very severely! So whenever I find a potentially suitable venue, the first thing ask is about self catering beverages. So far I've found one venue that allows it, but I can't remember what it was having lost my notes from previous venue searches!

So my challenge for anyone out there, should they happen to be reading this blog, is to find me a venue in Auckland (nice, classy, roomy, to fit 70 - 80 people) that allows self catering of alcoholic beverages, and comment it here!

Help a girl plan her wedding!!!

Ohhhh My Glutes...

2007-05-21T00:45:00.000+12:00

Today we spent the afternoon climbing the Great Wall of China. What a work out for my bum(which definitely needed it)! Anyway, feel really good about it, and being up there, and being able to see into Mongolia (just), and seeing how far the wall goes (as far as the eye can see... and much much further) makes one feel quite small. Am adding pics as soon as I've finished writing this.We caught a sleeper train from Shanghai to Beijing last night, and arrived this morning at about 7.15am, with just enough time to check into our hotel, grab a quick shower, dress, and leave for Tian'anmen square and Forbidden City. After a mammoth walk from the Square, through the front gate of the Forbidden city, and out the other end (the Concubines' gate), we fell into the car and slept our way to a Jade Factory and Lunch. Blah blah blah, moving on from there to Badaling, and our entry to the Great Wall of China. About 2 minutes before arriving at the wall, both Matt and I suddenly came down with caffeine withdrawal headaches, which increased intensity with every uphill step we took. After a quick coffee, we pressed on, and surprised ourselves with how much distance we covered in an hour. I"ll let the pictures speak for themselves. After a quick bite to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe next door to the hotel, and suddenly it's Sunday night! We leave tomorrow night on a train back to Shanghai, then leave Shanghai on Tuesday afternoon at 2pm, back to reality at 6am Wednesday morning.I'd just gotten used to Shanghai (Beijing seems very different in comparison) and now we have to leave! Isn't that always the way?

Ni Hao - from Shanghai!

2007-05-14T14:41:00.000+12:00

So here I am in Shanghai, about to begin day two of my journey. Day 1 started yesterday landing at Pudong Airport at 7.30am after an 11.5 hour flight from Auckland. After a shower and a quick walk / catchup with Matt, it was off to see the sights of Shanghai with his colleagues visiting from Germany. After brunch at the Westin (Packed full of westerner ex-pats for a Mothers Day Buffet) it was off through old town Shanghai, via Yu'Yuan Gardens (pretty lotus and carp ponds, and lots of people selling mass produced "bargain antiques", ending at the French Concession. Photos from that little tour can be seen on my Bebo.
I've just booked myself on a couple of tours over the next two days - tomorrow I'll be heading on a day tour around 'the best of Shanghai', including the Jade Buddha temple, and a walk down the Bund. I'm thinking that we'll probably head down the Bund tonight for dinner anyway, but it will be nice to get all the background history from a guide aswell. On Wednesday I'm heading to Zhu Jia Jiao, an old water village outside of Shanghai, which will be really interesting.

And while I'm doing all this, poor Matt is stuck working his tail off... :(

More photos will be added each day! Stay Tuned!

Wibble!

2007-05-08T19:50:00.001+12:00

That is all.

2007-04-20T18:28:00.000+12:00

Nihao ma!

That is the extent of my phrasebook learning. Oh, and "xiexie" (thankyou). everything else is a complete mystery to me. Luckily I've found these mp3 travel scenarios at Rough Guides to d/l to my iPod - Free of charge! I bought a lonely planet Mandarin phrase book the other day, but while it helps by providing lots of travel relevant phrases such as "Can I have a lawyer who speaks English" and "I don't want a blood transfusion", they don't explain pronunciation very well, which is where these mp3s come in.

I would love to keep yapping on about my lack of linguistic knowledge, but I'm boring everyone senseless, so I'll come back when I've got something interesting to discuss.

Busy...

2007-04-18T19:04:00.000+12:00

The last time I managed to get here, I'd just started being the boss. Now I'm halfway through a week long training course, am about to go to indoor netball, and I finally found some time to get on and do a quick update.

And wouldn't you know it, I don't have F.A to update! I'm boring! boring boring boring!

Question for anyone out there who's reading this: whats the weather like in China around this time of the year? And is it worth trying to learn a bit of Mandarin before embarking on a 10 day trip to Shanghai / Beijing? Or is there enough English knowledge there to get around?

Anyway, must dash, have to go out and lose another game of indoor netball.

Why on Earth would anyone do this....

2007-03-29T17:30:00.000+12:00

So, Someone thought it would be a good idea to put me in charge while my boss is away.

Really. Who's bright idea was that? Don't they know I'll just give us all pay rises and push back on all work until he gets back?

sillies.

In better news - Tyson can lift his tail higher than his body now - signs are good for not having to amputate anything at all! hooray!

What Attracts You?

2007-03-19T11:42:00.000+12:00

A post on Addie's "Fresh Hot Wastes of Time" about her 100 000'th visitor (Congrats again Addie!) lead me to check out my stats counter (to see my paltry total of 4829 Unique visitors since May 2005). While I was there I thought I'd take a look at my referrals to see where you all came from, and what you want to see more of.

First we'll start with where you're all from. Out of the last 100 unique visitors, 31 of you are from the U.S, 11 of you are from the UK, 10 of you are from N.Z, and the rest of you form a large cross section of this world's population. I've had visitors from Dubai, Mexico, Germany, Korea, Australia, Portugal, Romania, Uruguay, Brazil, Greece - all over the place.

In each country there are a vast amount of ISPs in use, but the stand out by far is comcast in the U.S, followed by Telecom in New Zealand.

32% of my readers use Microsoft Internet Explorer 7.0, follwed by 30% on MSIE 6.0. Firefox 2.0 is used by 23% of my unique visitors, with Firefox 1.5 used by 9%. Firefox 1.0.7 and Safari 1.2 is run by 2 % each, followed by Safari 1.0 and Mozilla 5.0 (upgrade you silly!) used by 1% of my visitors. Not surprisingly, Windows XP is the winner of the OS Wars on my blog, followed by Windows 2000, followed by MAC OSX, followed by two people on Vista. Funnily enough the Microsoft user engaged a Google Image search for photos of CRX Del Sols, instead of whatever MS equivalent there is (Windows Live Search?).

Finally for what we've all been waiting for. It seems what attracts most people to this blog is.....

Drum roll please!

Boobies!

It appears the most popular page on this blog is this little gem right here, in which I show a photo of a naked female breast (picture sourced from Wikipedia). Beware - Not Safe For Work! This post came about by foolishly asking a various males what my next blogging topic should be. Obvious answer for men - Boobies. I should have known!

Some of you might know about the feline tragedy that befell our household last week - our little kitten Tyson was hit by a car (perhaps, we're still not sure), and lost the use of his left legs and tail. After a couple of days in the vet, he regained the use of both legs, but still holds some damage to his Radial Nerve in the front paw. This has resulted in him not being able to use his front left paw as automatically as he could. When he thinks about it, he can walk perfectly, but if he gets distracted then he doesn't place his paw correctly, and either the leg gives way under him or he ends up taking a step on the joint above his paw. This is only intermittent, which gives us hope that he will regain full use of his legs in due course. His tail probably has to come off, but a tail amputation is nothing compared to the original possibility of double leg + tail amputation, as it was suggested that removing two legs would give cause to consider euthanasia.

So, Tyson's alive, and should retain all 4 limbs, and that is definitely something to be thankful for.

How to see The Late Show Live!

2007-03-09T15:30:00.000+13:00

Today I finally finished uploading photos of our trip to the states to Bebo. Go check them out here. My favourite is this one of us on the ferry on the way to Liberty Island to see the Statue of Liberty, and my next favourite is this Other one of us in the queue to go see a taping of The Late Show. Might I add, David Letterman is hilarious even without the cue cards. He comes out a little bit before each show starts, and has a chat with the audience, answers a couple of questions, and generally warms himself up for the taping. Taping only takes an hour or so, but it's well worth a look if you're ever in NYC. And the best part? It's Free!
To get tickets to a taping, go to the Ed Sullivan Theatre (on Broadway@ 53rd if I remember rightly) no earlier than 9 am (doors open at 9.30) on the day of taping (Monday - Thursday), and get in line. They say that the order of the line doesn't mean anything, but I think it helps. We were third in line on that day. You will have a questionnaire to fill out, and you MUST bring Photo ID of any sort (NZ Drivers License is fine). Then they will send you behind a screen and have a chat which seems to be about nothing, but is actually gauging your bubbliness and happiness. They like to accept people who aren't shy about showing that they're having fun. The smilier and more forthcoming you are with answers about who you are and what you're doing in the city, the more likely your possibility of getting tickets.

They'll then send you away, not before taking down your contact details. Give them all details possible: NZ Cellphones (including American calling prefixes if possible), Hotel name / address / room number, relatives phone numbers if possible.

The safest bet, if you want to go out sight seeing during the morning, is to take down their office phone number, and wear the toll charge on your Roaming Vodafone Cellphone, and call them between 11.30am and 12pm midday to find out if you're a lucky winner!

Here Fishy Fishy Fishy

2007-02-27T09:49:00.000+13:00

We got Fish!

We haven't named any yet, I am rather hoping that there will be some spawnage and eventually we'll have too many to name, but for now we have 5 fish, of the red and bronze comet variety. Along with some oxygen weed, they were the new additions to the pond last night. As always, I photographed the event!

The Cats don't actually seem to be terribly fussed. This picture may incriminate Tyson, but in fact he's actually trying to figure out how to take a drink of the water from such a great height without falling in. He does this quite often.
Cinnamon just doesn't care about the pond at all, and thinks its only use is keeping Tyson out of her hair.
The white thing is a water neutralizer that slowly dissolves over time. A bit like an Anti Chlorine block, if you will. Helpful for such times as when random animals pee in the water!!!
Oh yeah, the Waitaha schist is new - it's just placed temporarily. We chucked it on the concrete edging after I'd already taken photos on Sunday, and hopefully combined with mossy / fern planting and ground covering plants, we should be able to hide the fact that there was ever a concrete edge there, and make the pond look as natural as possible.

Stage 2

2007-02-25T19:09:00.000+13:00

Stage 2 is complete!!

Plant List:

2x Water Irises - $14.99 each from Kings Plant Barn

2x Black Taro leaves (adapted for water use) - $14.99 each from Kings Plant Barn

1x Water Lily - $34.99 from Kings Plant Barn

1x palm - $29.99 from Kings Plant Barn

1x palmy thing that was already in our garden - FREEBIE

1x small groundcover fern from Kings Plant Barn - $10.00 from Kings Plant Barn

Still to come is the rock border, the water feature, some more planting around the edge of the pond, some lighting, and finally... Fish!

The final product won't be for some time yet, as the lighting will require some wiring, and we won't put the feature in until we've done the fence, but next weekend we should have the rocks and border and planting all finished, and perhaps some fish. We might even clean up the mess that we've since created on the grass, and start digging a trench for power.

Hard Yakka

2007-02-18T19:40:00.000+13:00

Me: "We're going to build a pond!"

Them: "Oh yes, will that be like the fence?"

Me: "...................................Shuttup"

Friday evening after the heat went out of the day and we had a few hours of daylight left, Matt thought it was a good idea to start digging a hole.

And so we (he) dug.

The digging went on into the night, we discovered lots and lots of broken pottery and big rocks in the dirt, and we stopped digging about 9pm.

The next day we went to Stone and Water World, on Marua Road in Ellerslie, to check out the ponds and get our supplies. Unfortunately traffic got the better of us as there was a huge sale on at the ASB Showgrounds in Greenlane, and races on at Ellerslie Racecourse, so it took nearly an hour to get from our house in Blockhouse Bay to Ellerslie. Once we got there we were greeted with helpful advice, and prices were about what we expected. Our purchases included:

1x Clearwater "Geelong" Preformed Pond - $200

1x Granite Water Feature $165

1x Water Pump $145

1x Feature Base $59
We picked up three bags of builders sand from Placemakers also, at $6.99/Bag.

After some more digging we fitted the pond and started filling in the gaps with sand (see photo). We didn't have any topsoil to fill in the rest of the gaps, so that was left until the next morning.

The current version is pictured here. We filled in all the gaps with topsoil, half filled the pond with water and put the pump in, just to stop the water stagnating. We still need to bury the cable but we'll do that when we get around to lighting, no sense in digging several times. Next weekend we'll get some rocks and play around with different designs, and maybe even drain and clean the pond, and start naturalising the water for planting.

Home Improvements (or D.I.Y Disaster)

2007-02-13T13:31:00.000+13:00

A year ago (approximately) we had begun the feverish hunt for a house.

Actually a year ago we came very close to buying a house in Mount Wellington, with a vast section and weird looking fruit trees.

Luckily we also ran off to Singapore and KL for a brief trip, giving us time to step back and look at the house through the eyes of people who weren't in a rush to get into the property market.

End result: No purchase!

A month later we began proceedings on a property in Blockhouse Bay, with a moderately sized section, and newly renovated interior - and settled in the beginning of April.

Back to present day, and you'll see not much has changed. The trees that were planted by previous owners to act as a hedge have grown, the wisteria and various roses that said owners tried to kill, infact survived- and are thriving under my watchful eye (except for one poor rose which isn't doing too well after this year of near hurricanes), and we've put up a few photos, a shelf, and a ginormous mirror. And cupboards in the garage.
And now - We Build a Pond!

Well, we haven't actually begun construction of said pond yet, but I intend to very very soon. You can see here the intended site for the aforementioned pond - it is the little area in the middle of the grass with concrete edging around it. Not too soon after this photo was taken, the flowers died, and turned to weeds, I weeded, replanted new flowers and tulips, it pissed down with rain, the tulips drowned, and new weeds sprouted. We've pulled down the ivy fence, plans are in place to build a new one, and the front yard is in for a major overhaul.
I will add this particular project to the list of many which I intend to document and blog. Hopefully it will not also become part of the list, of many events which I write about once and forget forever more...

I'll also start posting a series of comparisons - let's see exactly what changes have been made to the house, and whether or not they were good ones :)

Oh yeah p.s: Pre ordered Harry last week - YAAY! Now the trick is to avoid any and all tales of advance copies, and the resulting spoilers...

Home sweet home...

2007-02-07T14:47:00.000+13:00

Stepping off the plane onto the skybridge on Saturday morning at 4.45am was quite an experience. Being first off the plane, and not stuck behind the crowds of cattle class was nice, and it ensured we had DFS all to ourselves, with enough time to stock up on various alcoholic delights, and still get through customs and to the baggage carousel without queues.

Sadly our "priority" luggage wasn't "priority" at all. It took us nearly 30 minutes to get our bags from the carousel, after everyone else on the flight (non Gold class, I might add) got their bags first. As such, we still found ourselves queuing for MAF inspection like everyone else.

(Question: What's the point in a Gold Koru Club membership if one still has to queue like the average traveler?)

Every time I return home, I'm reminded of all the things I love about this place. Upon return from Singapore and Kuala Lumpur, the fresh clean smelling air was big on my list. This time, the Summer warmth was number one. 4.45am and the Captain had outside air temp as 21 degrees Celsius.

A Far cry from New York's -15 degrees, or Los Angeles' 10 degrees.

I wasn't that impressed with LA. Colour me weird, but I need tall buildings, even if the tallest office building here is only 40 something floors, I need to see a skyline. LA, to me, was far too spread out. It was as if they'd taken all the skyscrapers in NYC floor by floor, and put them each in single story buildings from Papakura to Silverdale. Sure, the financial and business area was in one place, but in my opinion a good city centre should include all facets of life, from finance and business to entertainment, nightlife, dining and recreation. One should be able to live in a city apartment, or at least a townhouse, and never need a car. LA, however, one would need not only a car, but also the patience of a saint to deal with the awful traffic!

Visiting Las Vegas was a shock. I expected a sparkling and wonderful city of sin- I expected top shelf and Dom to rain down on me in a daily shower- day and night burlesque shows and Godiva chocolates. It was still a lot of fun, but the bubble of preconceived notions in my head was burst and Reality hit.

Las Vegas is the sparkling city of money.

On the upside, however, I did not expect quite the variety of shopping that there was. Within walking distance from our hotels (we switched halfway through our 6 day stay from one end of the strip to the other) one could experience any number of hotel malls with no less than 150 specialty stores each including Victoria's Secret, Christian Lacroix, Dior, etc etc (blah blah blah), but oh the prices!

Diesel was especially expensive. Smith and Caugheys, and the collective of High Street, have the Auckland Diesel market pretty much sewn up, and a great pair of jeans will cost no more than $250 NZD.

Vegas Diesel stores (not stores that bought and resold diesel, these are Actual Diesel stores), would sell Diesel jeans for no less than $220USD (Plus tax) - nearly $370 NZD! Dolce and Gabbana had great prices on their shoes (end of season sale), but jeans for no less than $350usd...

I have a new appreciation for shopping to be found in Auckland - as, apparently, do New Yorkers. An article in a popular New York publication touted Auckland, New Zealand, as the new "hot place to shop"...

That's some food for thought!

I'll more photos into the Bebo Album when I get around to it - more New York photos and Disneyland to come!

P.S Through the entire trip we only saw one celebrity, although due to alcoholic imbibing, we wouldn't have noticed if we saw more. The celeb in question is Weiss from Alias - also known as the Pilot from the first season of Lost, Matt from Heroes, 'that dude' from Felicity... Although Matt saw Ron Jeremy the day before I arrived.

Dude

2007-01-31T11:20:00.000+13:00

Disneyland Rocks!

The Greatest City on Earth

2007-01-26T07:14:00.000+13:00

So far this truly is the greatest city on earth - Yes we're in New York City and boy is it cold! We've had a few snow flurries now, but nothing's settling on the ground which is disappointing, and the temperature is a constant 0 degrees celsius, plus wind chill!

I've uploaded more photos to my Bebo Album, link in the previous post, and there are more to come. We were lucky enough to get tickets to a taping of the Late Show, so we're just getting ready to go off to that, then at 8pm tonight we're off to Phantom of the Opera on Broadway (well, technically the Majestic theatre isn't on Broadway, but it's close enough). It's all so much!!

Photos are up!

2007-01-24T09:07:00.000+13:00

Ok I got photos up, but there are more to come yet. We leave for NYC Tomorrow morning, so more photos are yet to come! For now check out these pics, and the rest of them in my bebo album here

What happens in Vegas...

2007-01-23T05:01:00.000+13:00

What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas, it goes on the internet!

Or at least email.

So when you're drinking in a bar at a hotel / casino in Vegas, and Cameras are pulled out, don't be surprised if the next day you find your fiance has plastered photos of you looking VERY drunk all over the internet.... (p.s, that's an Appletini, just like JD drinks on Scrubs - was awful too, and gave me the most hideous hangover)

There are some pretty cool photos, such as one with me, our friend Michelle, and a pornstar called "Barbie" hehe - they'll all be posted up in the near future!
Vegas was great, January was an awesome time to go to Vegas, cos I found the best sales ever! I didn't bring any kind of coat or jacket with me, thinking that Vegas was going to be, at its coldest, 10 degrees. Little did I know we had happened upon the coldest winter on record, including snowfall on the strip which is very rare! Suddenly I had a shopping goal - it was hard to stick with my goal though, especially when I shopped past two (not one, but TWO) separate Coach Factory stores, which both had further reductions! Luckily I was able to keep my eyes on the prize, and bought two gorgeous big warm jackets from Zara. One is a casual jacket, forest green with a brown faux fur trim, the other a long, slightly dressier, black jacket, slightly 'puffer' with black faux fur trim, perfect for a Vegas, New York, or indeed Auckland winter's night!I got both together for $107USD inc tax, which is a steal when I couldn't find a single great looking jacket last winter for less than $150NZD!

There was also a visit to Paul Frank (Julius is a dear friend whom I've neglected over the past couple of years...) A dozen great outlet stores including Calvin Klein and Coach (yes Coach again!) - levis disappointed me, however, offering very little in a hipster range for women (not "misses" or "Juniors" but Women!!!), so for jeans I had to settle for Gap 'curvy flare' - I even found a Lee store, but it didn't sell ANY of the hipster / bumster flare range that we know in NZ- I was infact really disappointed with the range of averagely priced denimwear available, and now do I understand why US women will spend upwards of $200 on designer jeans - they're the only ones that look any good! I did, however, baulk at the Diesel store in the Forum shops at Caesars palace - I can buy a pair from any range of Diesel Jeans for less than $220NZD , at full retail price, anywhere in Auckland - but their cheapest pair only STARTED at $210USD!!! Who were they kidding? It's not like they were Dolce and Gabbana or anything!!

I found my way into Victoria's Secret also, which we desperately need in NZ. I thought everything was going to be hideously expensive, being such a big household name, but everything was so well priced, I bought two bras and two pairs of underwear for less than I would pay at a dept store in NZ, and these were gorgeous. Very sexy looking, and sexy comes in all sizes at Victoria's Secret, not just an 8 - 10. I love Victoria's Secret very VERY much.

I did heaps more shopping and am in love with heaps more stores here, but I can't go into much more detail as my battery's running low (and matt's taken both power adapters to his training).

We're currently in Trinidad, having spent a couple of days in Tobago (gorgeous place if you can find an empty beach), more photos to come, sorry I've been so crap in updating this blog, will try and get pics up tonight (will be mid afternoon in NZ by then).

New Year, New Post, New Blogging habits... New York?

2007-01-08T10:48:00.000+13:00

Hoorah! We made it through 2006, and out the other side into 2007!

Who knows what this year will bring... perhaps a wedding date? :D

In any event, it will bring some travel at least - Friday night I depart off for the wonderful world of the USA, following Matt who leaves on Thursday night. He's got business over there and I couldn't get the extra day off, but no matter.

So last year I didn't make any New Years Resolutions, but I fulfilled all the usual!! Typical isn't it. In 2006 I:

1) Quit Smoking
2) Joined a Gym
3) Bought a house
4) Officially started living with Matt and only Matt
5) Bought a new kitten
6) Traveled overseas to somewhere other than Australia.

All in all, a fantastic year! It'll be a hard year to top, but here are a few resolutions to kick off the year:

1) Continue not smoking (if I can make it to a year, then my life insurance and medical and income protection decrease!)
2) Continue going to the gym (so I haven't been since before Christmas... I"m sure I'll go back soon...)
3) Not default on a mortgage payment (it would take a pretty big economic depression, and some hefty spending on our part to default)
4) Not break up with Matt (he might decide he hates me...)
5) Not kill the new Kitten
6) Travel somewhere else (already booked and paid for - tick!)
7) SET A GODDAMNED DATE!

Ok, so Travel Itinerary will see me heading to Vegas by way of San Fran, then to the Port of Spain in Trinidad, then over the water to some lovely resort in Tobago, then back to Trinidad for a couple of days, then to NYC by way of Miami, then across the country to LA for some Disney fun, followed by a night in LA. On the list of things to do...

I GOT TICKETS TO THE KNICKS vs MIAMI HEAT!!! They cost a small fortune (actually, maybe a medium fortune), and I'm pretty sure that the game has canceled out any hope of my shopping, but who cares?! It's the Heat baby!

Another must is the Phantom on Broadway, where tickets aren't actually as expensive as originally thought! Premium seats are $150USD each pre ordered (so cheaper if you turn up on the night), and when you consider that currency is all relative, and a seat at a bloody Sky City Auckland Theatre Company show is a good $70 each, the Phantom of the Opera is a good night out!

As we're staying on Broadway in Times Square, on The Thursday we're going to walk down to the Ed Sullivan Theatre and queue up for tickets to one of two of the Late Show filmings, which should be a blast if we can get seats. If not we'll just get a meat platter from the Hello Deli or something :)

Also, we must have McDonalds at some point to continue our international survey: Does McDonalds taste the same all over the world? So far Malaysia, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand all say "yes". The test meal is a Quarter Pounder Combo. Results will be posted up here.

While we're away, I will endeavour to keep the blog updated with tales from the U.S, but let's be realistic - in my own home I can't even keep this blog up to date, so don't hold your breath :)

For now, I'll bid you a fond farewell (look at me writing like there's actually someone reading this...), and a Happy New Year! Hope Work doesn't suck too much for you!

Photos from the weekend!

2006-11-28T10:31:00.000+13:00

This past weekend was fun! Let me give you a run down of what happened:

1) We got a new kitty! His name is currently Beau, but we've since decided he doesn't suit it, so are after suggestions for cool names. He's a blue burmese boy, and he's 10 weeks old at the moment (and quite big for such a youngun). He's all Paws and Legs, and hasn't yet figured out how to land on his feet after jumping. He's very cute, and our original kitty, Cinnamon, hates him lots. Lots and lots of hissing and growling going on in our house at the moment!

2) We went out! Our friend Tim turned 30, and had a party down at the Imperial on the waterfront. Nice place that - roomy and relaxed, with plenty of outdoor seating and gas heaters :) Anyway, from the left is Brent, Matt, Me, and Carl. Carl's been on his OE for the last age, so it was good to catch up with him, and we hadn't seen Brent and Tatiana (not pictured here) in ages - all in all, a good night for catching up.

3) On Sunday we did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Saturday night saw very little sleep at all for anyone in our house, thanks to a certain little kitty missing his family (poor guy), and telling everyone about it at the top of his wee little lungs. And to add to that cacophony, Cinnamon would reply to each little "mew" with a fully grown "grrrrrrrrrr", from her perfectly situated station: My head.

Oh, also, please ignore the pervy lookin dude in the photo - that's Matt in all his "Movember" glory. Roll on December 1!

Maybe I'll just take a long swim in the formaldehyde with the squid...

2006-11-08T12:18:00.000+13:00

My new favourite YouTube series! Forget Lonelygirl15 (15, 13, 18, whatever. Move Cassie, get out the way!), I bring you:
Hope!
And she's Emo! Watch and enjoy!

Episode 1: In which she laments the death of... chalk... and its representation of the death of millions of words...

To the butterfly watch now, and again there has been no change in color or anything. I'll put up the next picture when one noticeably changes. In good butterfly news, however, we have three more chrysalises now *yay*!

Paintergate, Corngate, Doonegate, Speedgate, Pledgegate........ stadiumgate?

2006-11-07T09:50:00.000+13:00

Read more at the NZ Herald. I'm not too thrilled with the idea of a new waterfront stadium to be honest. I know it's a great opportunity and blah blah blah, but here are my concerns.

They say it will only cost $50million to rates payers, but what about the maintenance? We already pay a levy to Eden Park. so building a new stadium will just double that particular ongoing rate, adding another increase to an already skyrocketing rates fee!
It is nearly 2007, and the world cup is in 2011. The indoor stadium that they just built on Quay park took the better part of the last 3 years to build, and I don't think they've even finished the interior yet. The Ports of Auckland aren't evenconfident in the timeframe, and considering the amount of time that's already been lost in effing around making decisions (over 1 year), I have no confidence in the stadium being ready by 2011.
Speaking of $500 million dollars - Since when has ANY piece of 'improvement' initiated by the government ever come in under budget? Mt Eden Prison anyone? Pledge Card? This government doesn't actually know the meaning of a budget.
Auckland City's CBD roading infrastructure simply cannot handle the influx of trafdfic that would come from weeknight and friday night events. Already the streets come to a grinding halt from 4.30 - 6.00. The trains and buses are still unreliable as ever, and there is a grand lack of parking available for 60 - 70, 000 extra people in the city.
Eden Park already has tried and proven public transport facilities available, and it's a landmark location across the rugby world.

Some might accuse me of some narrow mindedness with regards to the new stadium, but in my opinion the government should focus less on the stadium, and more on improving each cities' infrastructure requirements. I mean, let's not forget that Auckland's not the only city hosting world cup games!

IKEA IS COMING!!!

2006-11-06T09:12:00.000+13:00

Praise the lord Ikea is coming to NZ!! Read here for more info.

No longer do we lie at the mercy of Freedom for sleek contemporary flat-packed furniture!! Now the consumer can rise up and have good looking furniture at approximately 50 %- 75% of the price!

So the weekend's Chrysalis watch wasn't too fantastic - I won't bother posting up pics from the weekend as there was essentially no change.

So, who got burnt over the weekend? Anyone lose any limbs? I burnt the fingerprint off my left index finger - through trying to move an oven dish fresh from 40 mins in 200 degrees celsius. Idiot.

MEME TIME

2006-11-03T13:43:00.000+13:00

I haven't done one of these in SO long. So here goes:

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU...

1.Said i love you to? Matt via text last night
2. Rode in a car with? Matt and Lianne to the Airport
3. Went to the movies with? Matt - Harry Potter
4. Went to the mall with? Matt (I'm sensing a pattern here)
5. You talked on the phone to? See, I'm at work, so one would assume "a colleague" or sim, but no - Maatt
6. Made you laugh? Dermot @ work cos he threw my stress ball really hard at this other dude Ashwin and it was funny

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Tongue (and in fact, it is pierced!)
2. Be serious or be funny? FUNNY!
3. Drink whole or skim milk? whole milk
4. Die in a fire or drown? that's a really good question. Let me come back to that one.
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Parents!!

A N S W E R. T R U T H F U L L Y.

1. Do you like anyone? Yes I like everyone
2. Sun or moon? The sun !!
3. Winter or Fall? Fall!
4. left or right? Left!
5. 10 acquaintances or two best friends? Best friends!!
6. Sunny or rain? Sun!! (gardening)
7. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? Vanilla!

A B O U T . Y O U.

1. What time is it? 1.48pm
2. First Name? Caroline
3. Where do you wanna live? Closer to the city please, perhaps somewhere with a sea view
4. How many kids do you want? 2
5. Do you want to get married? YES!!
6. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl
7. Have you ever eaten spam? No but I have 4372 items in my spambox in my gmail account..
8. Favorite ice cream? Tie: Hokey Pokey and Goody Goody Gum Drops!
9. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? That's a big fat Zero!!
10. Current mood? I'm a little grumpy because I got pulled away from my noodles to attend a meeting, so then I had to microwave them, and then they were crap :(

IN . THE. LAST. 48 HOURS. HAVE. YOU.

1. Kissed some one? No :( Oh wait, 48 hours... YES I have. Matt at the airport
2. Sang? Nope
3. Been hugged? Yep - Matt at the airport
4. Felt stupid? funnily enough no!
5. Missed someone? Yes!!
6. Danced Crazy? Nope
7. Gotten your hair cut? Nope
8. Cried? Yes (idiot...)
9. Lied? Nope
10. Been kissed? Yes (refer question one in this section)

. S T U F F .

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Nope!
2. Do you have a dog? Nope
3. When's the last time you've been sledding? When I was really really young with my parents at Arthurs Pass
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Someone Else (The bed's been really cold the last couple of nights)
5. Do you believe in ghosts? I don't NOT believe in them, but I've never seen one, or felt "that" chill or anything
6. Do you consider yourself creative? Yep

The Monarchy

2006-11-03T10:47:00.000+13:00

We have a Chrysalis!!!

Well, actually we have two!!!
When we moved into this house, we inherited 4 swan plants. Two were ready to die, but thanks to some relocating, they are both thriving. Anyway, as is usual for spring, the butterflies were zooming around, laying their eggs, as they do. And the eggs hatched, as they also do.
Sadly, two trees are also inhabited by wasps, so for every load of eggs that are laid, we lose approximately 50% :(
But Joy of Joys, we have two chrysalises! So I will document their progress by taking a picture every day! The one on the left will from here on be referred to as "Crystal" and the one on the right will be "Christopher".

The weirdest thing happened, on this swan plant. Yesterday evening when I took these photos, we had 12 caterpillars including the two chrysalises, and three upside down caterpillars (getting ready to chrysalize), like the picture up the top. This morning on my way down the driveway I looked, and two had disappeared.

Now last night was a very still night, so they didn't get blown off the plant, and infact the entire leaves had just disappeared. I thought perhaps the other caterpillars just ate the leaves close to the stem and the leaves fell, but there's nothing on the ground under the plants either.

When I checked yesterday evening, the sun was about to go down and it was very cool, so I don't expect they were attacked by birds or wasps.

So where did they go?

Recap!

2006-10-30T12:47:00.000+13:00

Nearly a whole month has gone by without a single blog post by me. I've been a busy wee bee at work lately, and only recently have had the spare time to start reading forums / blogs / the paper again. Seeing as it's been so long, I'll just do a quick update post to fill you all in on what's been happening lately!

Books read recently: Kate Kerrigan's 'recipes for a successful marriage' - and I wouldn't even call it recently, I finished that like, 3 weeks ago. I haven't read anything since then, and I couldn't possibly tell you what it was that I read before that.

360 Games played recently: Condemned: Criminal origins (complete - brilliant game, scared the shit out of me); Hexic Arcade (total addict); Amped 3; The Outfit.

Xbox games played recently: Fahrenheit - The only xbox game I've even looked at in the last 6 months since the 360 arrived - except the button mashing's all a bit beyond me.

Music enjoyed recently: I'm torn. I can't entirely tell if I like Panic! At the disco or not. "I write Sins not Tragedies" is kinda cool, mostly because I can make out the words, and can sing them at a rapid rate (you try saying "with a sense of poise and rationality" @ 32098432 wpm!). I really like Beyonce's new stuff, there's more of an edge to it than her D-child days, and even though their new album's been out for months, I'm still really digging The Streets new stuff.

Recent Purchases: I bought a new cellphone last month, that was fun. I can do all sorts of fun things with ring tones and video calling and things - the only problem is I don't know anyone ELSE with a video phone! :(

Travel: Nothing recently, but a quick jaunt off to the states coming up in December which should be cool. Matt's heading off to Sydney for work (and an Ikea visit)

TV/Film: Miami Vice Sucked. Colin Farrel wasn't even hot! I was highly disappointed. The Devil wears Prada kinda sucked too. The book was way better, and I liked Miranda as an Englishwoman more than an American for some reason. I could definitely watch it again, but I'd prefer to read it again instead. TV is really bad at the moment too, being Spring / Summer and all. Won't get any good tv until at least March.

House: Been gardening furiously, and demolishing stuff. That has to be the coolest part of owning a house - the demolition. You can take any and all anger out on the half broken fence out front, and not worry about losing your bond :)

And loads of work, which really sux. And that was a recap of my life (that which I care to mention at least) for the last three weeks. hooray!

PXTography

2006-10-03T12:25:00.000+13:00

The Skytower, reflected in typical Auckland style :)

Taken on a Samsung ZV10 cellphone

live blogging foodpoisoning day 5

2006-09-22T12:41:00.000+12:00

Day 5 and I can happily report I'm pretty sure I'm all better, which kinda makes for stink blogging. ;)

Live Blogging - Food Poisoning

2006-09-21T11:47:00.000+12:00

So many blogs I've come across have been about "live blogging". Live blogging the FIFA World Cup, Live Blogging a Hurricane, you name it, it's been live blogged. So here I am today to live blog my fourth day of Food poisoning.

I can't be sure which bacteria I have ingested, which bacteria it is that is currently setting my insides aflame, which bacteria it is that (hopefully) is taking me down a dress size. Internet research suggests campylobacta given my symptoms, but since when did I believe everything the internet told me.

AAaaanyway, this is live blogging, so I should get blogging. Right now, I'm sitting on the couch having just finished watching "The Devil Wears Prada", watching last night's episode of "Neighbours". I have a hankering for all sorts of foods, but can't keep down any, so am currently imagining eating several things. My mind is racing around thinking about several things, but I have no energy to do anything about them. TV is crap now, neighbours finished so I'm watching Charmed re runs.

I would kill for a Chicken Royale with barbeque sauce... if I could hold it down.
Infact, I would kill to be able to hold down a glass of water.
My legs are very shaky under me when I walk. I guess 3 days of not eating will do that to ya.
Anyway, updates tomorrow.

I'm sooo hungry.

UPDATE:

I took the plunge and made some chicken noodle cup a soup, and a couple of slices of toast. I finished it all about 5 minutes ago and am waiting the aftermath... so far just some cramping and gurgling. Wish me luck!

Interesting Email - Stroke Identification

2006-09-04T09:43:00.000+12:00

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters... S.T.R. My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Please read:

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of

awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S * Ask the individual to SMILE .
T * Ask the person to TALK to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg "It is sunny out today").
R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .

NOTE : Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the

other that is also an indication of a stroke. If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 111 immediately!! and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

Now, usually these bits and bobs that float through my inbox are pointless but entertaining, ie youtube video links, trademe auction links, etc, but today I received the above notice. Entertainmentless, yet, informative. I'm yet to confirm if the above questions are appropriate in identifying a stroke victim, and if everytime I see someone fall over I should ask these questions, so if there are any Neurologists or Med Students or doctors or generally informed people out there that can confirm or contradict it, please do so!

MicroMachines V4!

2006-08-31T15:16:00.000+12:00

And just so y'all know, I haven't forgotten about that review I'm doing on Micro Machines, just having some.. err.... technical difficulties with the equipment :) So go HERE to see a bit more of what's going on in the game this time round :)

http://www.hyfntrak.com/micromachines/AFF26429/

Spring has Sprung

2006-08-31T14:57:00.000+12:00

31 August and it's now been one month since I last blogged. In that month I've done many things: I've gardened, I've worked (worked my ass off), I've driven to work (hadn't done that from our new location before), I've been to a party (Techfest) full of the second most geeks I'd ever seen in one room (first most: Armageddon)- which enabled me to see Feelers play live (something I haven't done for approx 7 years), I've spent loads of money on junk food, I've cleaned up kitty crap (ew), I've laughed, I've cried (loads), but I haven't (obviously) blogged.

Yeah, sorry about that. heh

But anyway, here I am... hooray... and all that :)

2006-07-31T11:22:00.000+12:00

Size Matters

Size really does matter - see why here!

Don't take a knife to a gun fight...

2006-07-31T10:03:00.000+12:00

From the Herald:

'The father of a gunshop owner who shot a machete-wielding man wants to know why police have not yet charged the injured assailant.'

Good question. Let us ponder that for a second.

' "[The injured man] is lying in the lap of luxury. He's ruined our lives and he has police protection up there and no one can ask him any questions," Ray Carvell said.

"I'd like to know why he's not being questioned, why he's not been charged with attempted murder. '

Why indeed - but let's hear the full story:

'Ray Carvell told the Herald On Sunday the man burst into the family's Penrose gunshop, Small Arms International, and repeatedly shouted, "Give me the guns or I'll kill you", before being shot.

He said the man pulled a machete from his bag, cornering Greg Carvell and co-worker Bruce Motley in the side staff area.

"He was threatening them with their lives.

"He said, 'Give me the guns or I'll kill you'.

"He kept repeating it ... It happened in a matter of seconds. What would you do?"

Ray Carvell said his son then did "the only thing he could do".

He shot the man in the stomach at close range with a handgun. '

It begs the question - what would you do? You are in the situation where split second decisions are required to SAVE YOUR LIFE. You have guns. Lots of guns. He has a machete. He's going to slice your head off if you don't give him all your guns.

So you take the guns out of the rack... you have the guns in your hands... one of a few things is going to happen.

1) You're going to give him the guns, and in his P Fuelled rage, he's going to shoot you, and your customers, then he's going to go on a murdering rampage, and countless lives will end.

2) You're going to give him the guns, he's going to leave quietly, you're going to call the cops, but they're not going to find the guy, because since when did they ever find an armed burglar?

3) You're not going to give him the guns, you're going to take one of them, and kill him, then be sent to jail for murder, even though you were defending yourself, and essentially, everyone else in the city. People with Guns are obviously more manic than young boys with 8kg rocks.

4) You're not going to give him the guns, you're going to take one of them, and wound him by shooting him in a non fatal part of his body (the stomach), thereby disarming him, and saving your life. You're not going to kill him, though, even though you could have, because you own a gun shop, and chances are you're a pretty good shot with your choice of weapon - and because you're standing not 3 feet away.

What would you do given the options? Food for thought.

BOO to the police for not charging the machete dude with attempted murder (yet), and BOO to the police for trying to find holes in firearms laws.

thanks to the NZ Herald for the image posted here, which can be found at http://www.nzherald.co.nz

The World is ending...

2006-07-20T10:10:00.000+12:00

Well actually, it's not.

I'm going to live forever, and I need a place to stay.

If the world is going to end in December 2012, then unless they've colonized Mars by then, I have nowhere to stay.

Thusly

The world is not going to end.

And now it's on the internet. That means it's true!

This post is dedicated to all the losers that found a stupid site on the internet, took everything on it for gospel, and then forced their "facts" down everyone's throats.

Oh, and the last part of the story follows.

Jack didn’t have anything to say to that, so he waited for Sammy to make it
back to the lever, nodded to him, nodded a final time to Nate, and then
headed into the desert with Sammy following.
Over the next several years Sammy and Jack kept in touch with Nate through
e-mail as they went about their adventures. They made a goal of visiting
every country in the world, and did a respectable job of it. Sammy had a
natural gift for languages, as Jack expected he would, and even ended up
acting as a translator for Jack in a few of the countries. Jack managed to
keep the talking rattlesnake hidden, even so, and by the time they were
nearing the end of their tour of countries, Sammy had only been spotted a
few times. While there were several people that had seen enough to startle
them greatly, nobody had enough evidence to prove anything, and while a few
wild rumors and storied followed Jack and Sammy around, nothing ever hit the
newspapers or the public in general.

When they finished the tour of countries, Jack suggested that they try some
undersea diving. They did. And spelunking. They did that too. Sammy finally
drew the line at visiting Antarctica. He’d come to realize that Jack was
stalling. After talking to his Dad about it over e-mail, he figured out that
Jack probably didn’t want to have to kill Nate. Nate told Sammy that humans
could be squeamish about killing friends and acquaintances.

So, Sammy eventually put his tail down (as he didn’t have a foot) and told
Jack that it was time - he was ready to go back and take up his duties from
his dad. Jack, delayed it a little more by insisting that they go back to
Japan and buy an appropriate sword. He even stretched it a little more by
getting lessons in how to use the sword. But, eventually, he’d learned as
much as he was likely to without dedicating his life to it, and was
definitely competent enough to take the head off of a snake. It was time to
head back and see Nate.

When they got back to the US, Jack got the old RV out of storage where he
and Sammy had left it after their tour of the fifty states, he loaded up
Sammy and the sword, and they headed for the desert.

When they got to the small town that Jack had been trying to find those
years ago when he’d met Nate, Jack was in a funk. He didn’t really feel like
walking all of the way out there. Not only that, but he’d forgotten to
figure the travel time correctly, and it was late afternoon. They’d either
have to spend the night in town and walk out tomorrow, or walk in the dark.

As Jack was afraid that if he waited one more night he might lose his
resolve, he decided that he’d go ahead and drive the RV out there. It was
only going to be this once, and Jack would go back and cover the tracks
afterward. They ought to be able to make it out there by nightfall if they
drove, and then they could get it over tonight.

Jack told Sammy to e-mail Nate that they were coming as he drove out of
sight of the town on the road. They then pulled off the road and headed out
into the desert.

Everything went well, until they got to the sand dunes. Jack had been
nursing the RV along the whole time, over the rocks, through the creek beds,
revving the engine the few times they almost got stuck. When they came to
the dunes, Jack didn’t really think about it, he just downshifted and headed
up the first one. By the third dune, Jack started to regret that he’d
decided to try driving on the sand. The RV was fishtailling and losing
traction. Jack was having to work it up each dune slowly and was trying to
keep from losing control each time they came over the top and slid down the
other side. Sammy had come up to sit in the passenger seat, coiled up and
laughing at Jack’s driving.

As they came over the top of the fourth dune, the biggest one yet, Jack saw
that this was the final dune - the stone, the lever, and somewhere Nate,
waited below. Jack put on the brakes, but he’d gone a little too far. The RV
started slipping down the other side.

Jack tried turning the wheel, but he didn’t have enough traction. He pumped
the brakes - no response. They started sliding down the hill, faster and
faster.

Jack felt a shock go through him as he suddenly realized that they were
heading for the lever. He looked down - the RV was directly on course for
it. If Jack didn’t do something, the RV would hit it. He was about to end
humanity.

Jack steered more frantically, trying to get traction. It still wasn’t
working. The dune was too steep, and the sand too loose. In a split second,
Jack realized that his only chance would be once he hit the stone around the
lever - he should have traction on the stone for just a second before he hit
the lever - he wouldn’t have time to stop, but he should be able to steer
away.

Jack took a better grip on the steering wheel and tried to turn the RV a
little bit - every little bit would help. He’d have to time his turn just
right.

The RV got to the bottom of the dune, sliding at an amazing speed in the
sand. Just before they reached the stone Jack looked across it to check that
they were still heading for the lever. They were. But Jack noticed something
else that he hadn’t seen from the top of the dune. Nate wasn’t wrapped
around the lever. He was off to the side of the lever, but still on the
stone, waiting for them. The problem was, he was waiting on the same side of
the lever that Jack had picked to steer towards to avoid the lever. The RV
was already starting to drift that way a little in its mad rush across the
sand and there was no way that Jack was going to be able to go around the
lever to the other side.

Jack had an instant of realization. He was either going to have to hit the
lever, or run over Nate. He glanced over at Sammy and saw that Sammy
realized the same thing.

Jack took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone.
Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel,

“BETTER NATE THAN LEVER!”, he ran over the snake.

THE END.

Don't you just hate me now?

Mission Complete

2006-07-17T10:14:00.000+12:00

My Mission is now complete - out of a possible 24 hour period I spent approximately 21 of them in bed, until this morning at 7am. Accompanied by an xbox, a laptop, and the leftovers from my Saturday night of Junk, I spend a ridiculously lazy and slovenly day in bed...

Until approximately 9pm when I felt it prudent to clean my room.

And hang my washing on the clothesrack.

And get the rest of my washing from the dryer.

And fold / hang my dry clothes back in their proper places (wardrobe/dresser/jacket cupboard etc).

Perhaps not so lazy after all.

Anyway, here's part - 6? I think? I can't keep track anymore. Don't worry, this is THE PENULTIMATE part to the story of our Hero, Jack Samson, and his Giant Snake.

Jack caught a bus back to the city, and showed up for work the next day,
little worse for the wear and with a story about getting lost in the desert
and walking back out. Within a couple of days Jack had talked a friend with
a tow truck into going back out into the desert with him to fetch the SUV.
They found it after a couple of hours of searching and towed it back without
incident. Jack was careful not to even look in the direction of Nate’s
lever, though their path back didn’t come within sight of it.

Before the next weekend, Jack had gone to a couple of stores, including a
book store, and had gotten his SUV back from the mechanic, with a warning to
avoid any more joyriding in the desert. On Saturday, Jack headed back to see
Nate.

Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new
backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then
started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he
knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn’t unheard of,
and shouldn’t really raise suspicions.

Jack had brought more books for Nate - recent books, magazines, newspapers.
Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world,
others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate,
and then headed out again, telling Nate that he’d be back again soon, but
that he had things to do first.

Over four months later Jack was back to see Nate again. This time he brought
a laptop with him - a specially modified laptop. It had a solar recharger,
special filters and seals to keep out the sand, a satellite link-up, and a
special keyboard and joystick that Jack hoped that a fifteen-foot
rattlesnake would be able to use. And, it had been hacked to not give out
its location to the satellite.

After that Jack could e-mail Nate to keep in touch, but still visited him
fairly regularly - at least once or twice a year.

After the first year, Jack quit his job. For some reason, with the wisdom he
‘d been given, and the knowledge that he could live for over 150 years,
working in a nine to five job for someone else didn’t seem that worthwhile
any more. Jack went back to school.

Eventually, Jack started writing. Perhaps because of the wisdom, or perhaps
because of his new perspective, he wrote well. People liked what he wrote,
and he became well known for it. After a time, Jack bought an RV and started
traveling around the country for book signings and readings.

But, he still remembered to drop by and visit Nate occasionally.

On one of the visits Nate seemed quieter than usual. Not that Nate had been
a fountain of joy lately. Jack’s best guess was that Nate was still missing
Samuel, and though Jack had tried, he still hadn’t been able to replace
Samuel in Nate’s eyes. Nate had been getting quieter each visit. But on this
visit Nate didn’t even speak when Jack walked up to the lever. He nodded at
Jack, and then went back to staring into the desert. Jack, respecting Nate’s
silence, sat down and waited.

After a few minutes, Nate spoke. “Jack, I have someone to introduce you to.”

Jack looked surprised. “Someone to introduce me to?” Jack looked around, and
then looked carefully back at Nate. “This something to do with the Big Guy?

“No, no,” replied Nate. “This is more personal. I want you to meet my son.”
Nate looked over at the nearest sand dune. “Sammy!”

Jack watched as a four foot long desert rattlesnake crawled from behind the
dune and up to the stone base of the lever.

“Yo, Jack,” said the new, much smaller snake.

“Yo, Sammy” replied Jack. Jack looked at Nate. “Named after Samuel, I
assume?”

Nate nodded. “Jack, I’ve got a favor to ask you. Could you show Sammy around
for me?” Nate unwrapped himself from the lever and slithered over to the
edge of the stone and looked across the sands. “When Samuel first told me
about the world, and brought me books and pictures, I wished that I could go
see it. I wanted to see the great forests, the canyons, the cities, even the
other deserts, to see if they felt and smelled the same. I want my son to
have that chance - to see the world. Before he becomes bound here like I
have been.

“He’s seen it in pictures, over the computer that you brought me. But I hear
that it’s not the same. That being there is different. I want him to have
that. Think you can do that for me, Jack?”

Jack nodded. This was obviously very important to Nate, so Jack didn’t even
joke about taking a talking rattlesnake out to see the world. “Yeah, I can
do that for you, Nate. Is that all you need?” Jack could sense that was
something more.

Nate looked at Sammy. Sammy looked back at Nate for a second and then said,
“Oh, yeah. Ummm, I’ve gotta go pack. Back in a little bit Jack. Nice to meet
ya!” Sammy slithered back over the dune and out of sight.

Nate watched Sammy disappear and then looked back at Jack. “Jack, this is my
first son. My first offspring through all the years. You don’t even want to
know what it took for me to find a mate.” Nate grinned to himself. “But
anyway, I had a son for a reason. I’m tired. I’m ready for it to be over. I
needed a replacement.”

Jack considered this for a minute. “So, you’re ready to come see the world,
and you wanted him to watch the lever while you were gone?”

Nate shook his head. “No, Jack - you’re a better guesser than that. You’ve
already figured out - I’m bound here - there’s only one way for me to leave
here. And I’m ready. It’s my time to die.”

Jack looked more closely at Nate. He could tell Nate had thought about
this - probably for quite a while. Jack had trouble imagining what it would
be like to be as old as Nate, but Jack could already tell that in another
hundred or two hundred years, he might be getting tired of life himself.
Jack could understand Samuel’s decision, and now Nate’s. So, all Jack said
was, “What do you want me to do?”

Nate nodded. “Thanks, Jack. I only want two things. One - show Sammy around
the world - let him get his fill of it, until he’s ready to come back here
and take over. Two - give me the fourth request.

“I can’t just decide to die, not any more than you can. I won’t even die of
old age like you eventually will, even though it’ll be a long time from now.
I need to be killed. Once Sammy is back here, ready to take over, I’ll be
able to die. And I need you to kill me.

“I’ve even thought about how. Poisons and other drugs won’t work on me. And
I’ve seen pictures of snakes that were shot - some of them live for days, so
that’s out too. So, I want you to bring back a sword.

Nate turned away to look back to the dune that Sammy had gone behind. “I’d
say an axe, but that’s somewhat undignified - putting my head on the ground
or a chopping block like that. No, I like a sword. A time-honored way of
going out. A dignified way to die. And, most importantly, it should work,
even on me.

“You willing to do that for me, Jack?” Nate turned back to look at Jack.

“Yeah, Nate,” replied Jack solemnly, “I think I can handle that.”

Nate nodded. “Good!” He turned back toward the dune and shouted, “Sammy!
Jack’s about ready to leave!” Then quietly, “Thanks, Jack.”

Saturday Night's Alright for Junk Food!

2006-07-16T08:53:00.000+12:00

So, having dropped Matt at the airport for his journey across the Pacific to the great U.S of A, I settled in for a Saturday night of catching up with me.

From bottom left to bottom right this included: Pizza Hut Hot and Spicy Pizza, Garlic Bread, a bottle of Morton Estate 2003 "The Mercure" (beautiful, highly recommended, will be my wedding red wine), Jane Austen's "Emma", A packet of Signature Range Barbeque Kettle chips, a large bag of pick and mix Chocolate Almonds, and a large bag of pick and mix sour lollies (bears, coke bottles, and worms). Also I tried to watch superman returns, but fell asleep before the end of the first scene (Lex Luthor bores me) and now here I am, blogging in bed watching What Now, waiting for the Home and Away omnibus, trying to setup a bittorrent client.

Anyway, here's the next part in the great blog story. So far we've seen Jack Samson get lost in the desert and take wishes from a giant snake. He's about to find out what the lever does....

If you're just joining us, start the story from part one, here

“Oh, no,” said Nate. “Nothing that drastic. It just ends humanity. I call it
‘The Lever of Doom’.” For the last few words Nate had used a deeper, ringing
voice. He tried to look serious for a few seconds, and then gave up and
grinned.

Jack was initially startled by Nate’s pronouncement, but when Nate grinned
Jack laughed. “Ha! You almost had me fooled for a second there. What does it
really do?”

“Oh, it really ends humanity, like I said,” smirked Nate. “I just thought
the voice I used was funny, didn’t you?”

Nate continued to grin.

“A lever to end humanity?” asked Jack. “What in the world is that for? Why
would anyone need to end humanity?”

“Well,” replied Nate, “I get the idea that maybe humanity was an experiment.
Or maybe the Big Guy just thought, that if humanity started going really
bad, there should be a way to end it. I’m not really sure. All I know are
the rules, and the guesses that Samuel and I had about why it’s here. I
didn’t think to ask back when I started here.”

“Rules? What rules?” asked Jack.

“The rules are that I can’t tell anybody about it or let them touch it
unless they agree to be bound to secrecy by a bite. And that only one human
can be bound in that way at a time. That’s it.” explained Nate.

Jack looked somewhat shocked. “You mean that I could pull the lever now?
You’d let me end humanity?”

“Yep,” replied Nate, “if you want to.” Nate looked at Jack carefully. “Do
you want to, Jack?”

“Umm, no.” said Jack, stepping a little further back from the lever. “Why in
the world would anyone want to end humanity? It’d take a psychotic to want
that! Or worse, a suicidal psychotic, because it would kill him too,
wouldn’t it?”

“Yep,” replied Nate, “being as he’d be human too.”

“Has anyone ever seriously considered it?” asked Nate. “Any of those bound
to secrecy, that is?”

“Well, of course, I think they’ve all seriously considered it at one time or
another. Being given that kind of responsibility makes you sit down and
think, or so I’m told. Samuel considered it several times. He’d often get
disgusted with humanity, come out here, and just hold the lever for a while.
But he never pulled it. Or you wouldn’t be here.” Nate grinned some more.

Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at
the same time. After a bit, he said, “So this makes me the Judge of
humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?”

“That seems to be it,” agreed Nate.

“What kind of criteria do I use to decide?” said Jack. “How do I make this
decision? Am I supposed to decide if they’re good? Or too many of them are
bad? Or that they’re going the wrong way? Is there a set of rules for that?”

“Nope,” replied Nate. “You pretty much just have to decide on your own. It’s
up to you, however you want to decide it. I guess that you’re just supposed
to know.”

“But what if I get mad at someone? Or some girl dumps me and I feel
horrible? Couldn’t I make a mistake? How do I know that I won’t screw up?”
protested Jack.

Nate gave his kind of snake-like shrug again. “You don’t. You just have to
try your best, Jack.”

Jack sat there for a while, staring off into the desert that was rapidly
getting dark, chewing on a fingernail.

Suddenly, Jack turned around and looked at the snake. “Nate, was Samuel the
one bound to this before me?”

“Yep,” replied Nate. “He was a good guy. Talked to me a lot. Taught me to
read and brought me books. I think I still have a good pile of them buried
in the sand around here somewhere. I still miss him. He died a few months
ago.”

“Sounds like a good guy,” agreed Jack. “How did he handle this, when you
first told him. What did he do?”

“Well,” said Nate, “he sat down for a while, thought about it for a bit, and
then asked me some questions, much like you’re doing.”

“What did he ask you, if you’re allowed to tell me?” asked Jack.

“He asked me about the third request,” replied Nate.

“Aha!” It was Jack’s turn to grin. “And what did you tell him?”

“I told him the rules for the third request. That to get the third request
you have to agree to this whole thing. That if it ever comes to the point
that you really think that humanity should be ended, that you’ll come here
and end it. You won’t avoid it, and you won’t wimp out.” Nate looked serious
again. “And you’ll be bound to do it too, Jack.”

“Hmmm.” Jack looked back out into the darkness for a while.

Nate watched him, waiting.

“Nate,” continued Jack, quietly, eventually. “What did Samuel ask for with
his third request?”

Nate sounded like he was grinning again as he replied, also quietly,
“Wisdom, Jack. He asked for wisdom. As much as I could give him.”

“Ok,” said Jack, suddenly, standing up and facing away from Nate, “give it
to me.

Nate looked at Jack’s backside. “Give you what, Jack?”

“Give me that wisdom. The same stuff that Samuel asked for. If it helped
him, maybe it’ll help me too.” Jack turned his head to look back over his
shoulder at Nate. “It did help him, right?”

“He said it did,” replied Nate. “But he seemed a little quieter afterward.
Like he had a lot to think about.”

“Well, yeah, I can see that,” said Jack. “So, give it to me.” Jack turned to
face away from Nate again, bent over slightly and tensed up.

Nate watched Jack tense up with a little exasperation. If he bit Jack now,
Jack would likely jump out of his skin and maybe hurt them both.

“You remember that you’ll be bound to destroy humanity if it ever looks like
it needs it, right Jack?” asked Nate, shifting position.

“Yeah, yeah, I got that,” replied Jack, eyes squeezed tightly shut and body
tense, not noticing the change in direction of Nate’s voice.

“And,” continued Nate, from his new position, “do you remember that you’ll
turn bright purple, and grow big horns and extra eyes?”

“Yeah, yeah…Hey, wait a minute!” said Jack, opening his eyes,
straightening up and turning around. “Purple?!” He didn’t see Nate there.
With the moonlight Jack could see that the lever extended up from its slot
in the rock without the snake wrapped around it.

Jack heard, from behind him, Nate’s “Just Kidding!” right before he felt the
now familiar piercing pain, this time in the other buttock.

Jack sat on the edge of the dark stone in the rapidly cooling air, his feet
extending out into the sand. He stared out into the darkness, listening to
the wind stir the sand, occasionally rubbing his butt where he’d been
recently bitten.

Nate had left for a little while, had come back with a desert-rodent-shaped
bulge somewhere in his middle, and was now wrapped back around the lever,
his tongue flicking out into the desert night’s air the only sign that he
was still awake.

Occasionally Jack, with his toes absentmindedly digging in the sand while he
thought, would ask Nate a question without turning around.

“Nate, do accidents count?”

Nate lifted his head a little bit. “What do you mean, Jack?”

Jack tilted his head back like he was looking at the stars. “You know,
accidents. If I accidentally fall on the lever, without meaning to, does
that still wipe out humanity?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it does, Jack. I’d suggest you be careful about that
if you start feeling wobbly,” said Nate with some amusement.

A little later - “Does it have to be me that pulls the lever?” asked Jack.

“That’s the rule, Jack. Nobody else can pull it,” answered Nate.

“No,” Jack shook his head, “I meant does it have to be my hand? Could I pull
the lever with a rope tied around it? Or push it with a stick? Or throw a
rock?”

“Yes, those should work,” replied Nate. “Though I’m not sure how complicated
you could get. Samuel thought about trying to build some kind of remote
control for it once, but gave it up. Everything he’d build would be gone by
the next sunrise, if it was touching the stone, or over it. I told him that
in the past others that had been bound had tried to bury the lever so they
wouldn’t be tempted to pull it, but every time the stones or sand or
whatever had disappeared.”

“Wow,” said Jack, “Cool.” Jack leaned back until only his elbows kept him
off of the stone and looked up into the sky.

“Nate, how long did Samuel live? One of his wishes was for health too,
right?” asked Jack.

“Yes,” replied Nate, “it was. He lived 167 years, Jack.”

“Wow, 167 years. That’s almost 140 more years I’ll live if I live as long.
Do you know what he died of, Nate?”

“He died of getting tired of living, Jack,” Nate said, sounding somewhat
sad.

Jack turned his head to look at Nate in the starlight.

Nate looked back. “Samuel knew he wasn’t going to be able to stay in
society. He figured that they’d eventually see him still alive and start
questioning it, so he decided that he’d have to disappear after a while. He
faked his death once, but changed his mind - he decided it was too early and
he could stay for a little longer. He wasn’t very fond of mankind, but he
liked the attention. Most of the time, anyway.

“His daughter and then his wife dying almost did him in though. He didn’t
stay in society much longer after that. He eventually came out here to spend
time talking to me and thinking about pulling the lever. A few months ago he
told me he’d had enough. It was his time.”

“And then he just died?” asked Jack.

Nate shook his head a little. “He made his forth request, Jack. There’s only
one thing you can ask for the fourth request. The last bite.

After a bit Nate continued, “He told me that he was tired, that it was his
time. He reassured me that someone new would show up soon, like they always
had.

After another pause, Nate finished, “Samuel’s body disappeared off the stone
with the sunrise.”

Jack lay back down and looked at the sky, leaving Nate alone with his
memories. It was a long time until Jack’s breathing evened out into sleep.

Jack woke with the sunrise the next morning. He was a little chilled with
the morning desert air, but overall was feeling pretty good. Well, except
that his stomach was grumbling and he wasn’t willing to eat raw desert rat.

So, after getting directions to town from Nate, making sure he knew how to
get back, and reassuring Nate that he’d be back soon, Jack started the long
walk back to town. With his new health and Nate’s good directions, he made
it back easily.

Well, there are probably about two or three more parts to this story, so keep reading to find out what the point of all this story telling is :)

When Slang turns bad

2006-07-14T14:32:00.000+12:00

This is brilliant.

This is absolutely frickin brilliant.

Aside from the gross over-misuse of the word "Literally" (ie: highly embarrassed person says "I Literally Died!"), I now have a NEW pet peeve - yet another regularly misused piece of the English language:

May Have > May've>May of

You know the one - "I may've (which is bad enough) done something" turns into "I may of done something".

Cos that makes sense.

not.

Anyway, here I present to you, a highly reputable and largely well known retail clothing chain in N.Z, performing this linguistic faux pas in an email to thousands, perhaps millions, of women throughout the country:

Dear Caroline,

Some of you may of noticed that VIP points have not been zeroed yet due to a few problems we have been experiencing.

Make sure you go shopping in the nest few days to get your VIP 10% off voucher as we will be putting all Loyalty points from last season back to zero on 17 July.

See you there!!

M**, keeping New Zealand beautiful

Part Four

2006-07-14T13:01:00.000+12:00

He turns his head, back towards the snake. That’s where the sound had seemed to come from. The only thing he can think of is that there must be a speaker, hidden under the snake, or maybe built into that post. He decides to try asking for help. “Please,” he croaks again, suddenly feeling dizzy, “I’d love to not be thirsty any more. I’ve been a long time without water. Can you help me?” Looking in the direction of the snake, hoping to see where the voice was coming from this time, he is shocked to see the snake rear back, open its mouth, and speak. He hears it say, as the dizziness overtakes him and he falls forward, face first on the stone, “Very well. Coming up.”

A piercing pain shoots through his shoulder. Suddenly he is awake. He sits up and grabs his shoulder, wincing at the throbbing pain. He’s momentarily disoriented as he looks around, and then he remembers - the crawl across the sand, the dark area of stone, the snake. He sees the snake, still wrapped around the tilted white post, still looking at him. He reaches up and feels his shoulder, where it hurts. It feels slightly wet. He pulls his fingers away and looks at them - blood. He feels his shoulder again - his shirt has what feels like two holes in it - two puncture holes - they match up with the two aching spots of pain on his shoulder. He had been bitten. By the snake. “It’ll feel better in a minute.” He looks up - it’s the snake talking. He hadn’t dreamed it. Suddenly he notices - he’s not dizzy any more. And more importantly, he’s not thirsty any more - at all! “Have I died? Is this the afterlife? Why are you biting me in the afterlife?” “Sorry about that, but I had to bite you,” says the snake. “That’s the way I work. It all comes through the bite. Think of it as natural medicine.” “You bit me to help me? Why aren’t I thirsty any more? Did you give me a drink before you bit me? How did I drink enough while unconscious to not be thirsty any more? I haven’t had a drink for over two days. Well, except for the windshield wiper fluid… hold it, how in the world does a snake talk? Are you real? Are you some sort of Disney animation?” “No,” says the snake, “I’m real. As real as you or anyone is, anyway. I didn’t give you a drink. I bit you. That’s how it works - it’s what I do. I bite. I don’t have hands to give you a drink, even if I had water just sitting around here.” The man sat stunned for a minute. Here he was, sitting in the middle of the desert on some strange stone that should be hot but wasn’t, talking to a snake that could talk back and had just bitten him. And he felt better. Not great - he was still starving and exhausted, but much better - he was no longer thirsty. He had started to sweat again, but only slightly. He felt hot, in this sun, but it was starting to get lower in the sky, and the cool stone beneath him was a relief he could notice now that he was no longer dying of thirst.

“I might suggest that we take care of that methanol you now have in your system with the next request,” continued the snake. “I can guess why you drank it, but I’m not sure how much you drank, or how much methanol was left in the wiper fluid. That stuff is nasty. It’ll make you go blind in a day or two, if you drank enough of it.” “Ummm, n-next request?” said the man. He put his hand back on his hurting shoulder and backed away from the snake a little. “That’s the way it works. If you like, that is,” explained the snake. “You get three requests. Call them wishes, if you wish.” The snake grinned at his own joke, and the man drew back a little further from the show of fangs. “But there are rules,” the snake continued. “The first request is free. The second requires an agreement of secrecy. The third requires the binding of responsibility.” The snake looks at the man seriously. “By the way,” the snake says suddenly, “my name is Nathan. Old Nathan, Samuel used to call me. He gave me the name. Before that, most of the Bound used to just call me ‘Snake’. But that got old, and Samuel wouldn’t stand for it. He said that anything that could talk needed a name. He was big into names. You can call me Nate, if you wish.” Again, the snake grinned. “Sorry if I don’t offer to shake, but I think you can understand - my shake sounds somewhat threatening.” The snake give his rattle a little shake. “Umm, my name is Jack,” said the man, trying to absorb all of this. “Jack Samson. “Can I ask you a question?” Jack says suddenly. “What happened to the poison…umm, in your bite. Why aren’t I dying now? How did you do that? What do you mean by that’s how you work?”
“That’s more than one question,” grins Nate. “But I’ll still try to answer all of them. First, yes, you can ask me a question.” The snake’s grin gets wider. “Second, the poison is in you. It changed you. You now no longer need to drink. That’s what you asked for. Or, well, technically, you asked to not be thirsty any more - but ‘any more’ is such a vague term. I decided to make it permanent - now, as long as you live, you shouldn’t need to drink much at all. Your body will conserve water very efficiently. You should be able to get enough just from the food you eat - much like a creature of the desert. You’ve been changed. “For the third question,” Nate continues, “you are still dying. Besides the effects of that methanol in your system, you’re a man - and men are mortal. In your current state, I give you no more than about another 50 years. Assuming you get out of this desert, alive, that is.” Nate seemed vastly amused at his own humor, and continued his wide grin.

“As for the fourth question,” Nate said, looking more serious as far as Jack could tell, as Jack was just now working on his ability to read talking-snake emotions from snake facial features, “first you have to agree to make a second request and become bound by the secrecy, or I can’t tell you.”
“Wait,” joked Jack, “isn’t this where you say you could tell me, but you’d have to kill me?” “I thought that was implied.” Nate continued to look serious. “Ummm…yeah.” Jack leaned back a little as he remembered again that he was talking to a fifteen foot poisonous reptile with a reputation for having a nasty temper. “So, what is this ‘Bound by Secrecy’ stuff, and can you really stop the effects of the methanol?” Jack thought for a second. “And, what do you mean methanol, anyway? I thought these days they use ethanol in wiper fluid, and just denature it?” “They may, I don’t really know,” said Nate. “I haven’t gotten out in a while. Maybe they do. All I know is that I smell methanol on your breath and on that bottle in your pocket. And the blue color of the liquid when you pulled it out to drink some let me guess that it was wiper fluid. I assume that they still color wiper fluid blue?”

“Yeah, they do,” said Jack. “I figured,” replied Nate. “As for being bound by secrecy - with the fulfillment of your next request, you will be bound to say nothing about me, this place, or any of the information I will tell you after that, when you decide to go back out to your kind. You won’t be allowed to talk about me, write about me, use sign language, charades, or even act in a way that will lead someone to guess correctly about me. You’ll be bound to secrecy. Of course, I’ll also ask you to promise not to give me away, and as I’m guessing that you’re a man of your word, you’ll never test the binding anyway, so you won’t notice.” Nate said the last part with utter confidence.

Jack, who had always prided himself on being a man of his word, felt a little nervous at this. “Ummm, hey, Nate, who are you? How did you know that? Are you, umm, omniscient, or something?” Well, Jack,” said Nate sadly, “I can’t tell you that, unless you make the second request.” Nate looked away for a minute, then looked back. “Umm, well, ok,” said Jack, “what is this about a second request? What can I ask for? Are you allowed to tell me that?” “Sure!” said Nate, brightening. “You’re allowed to ask for changes. Changes to yourself. They’re like wishes, but they can only affect you. Oh, and before you ask, I can’t give you immortality. Or omniscience. Or omnipresence, for that matter. Though I might be able to make you gaseous and yet remain alive, and then you could spread through the atmosphere and sort of be omnipresent. But what good would that be - you still wouldn’t be omniscient and thus still could only focus on one thing at a time. Not very useful, at least in my opinion.” Nate stopped when he realized that Jack was staring at him. “Well, anyway,” continued Nate, “I’d probably suggest giving you permanent good health. It would negate the methanol now in your system, you’d be immune to most poisons and diseases, and you’d tend to live a very long time, barring accident, of course. And you’ll even have a tendency to recover from accidents well. It always seemed like a good choice for a request to me.” “Cure the methanol poisoning, huh?” said Jack. “And keep me healthy for a long time? Hmmm. It doesn’t sound bad at that. And it has to be a request about a change to me? I can’t ask to be rich, right? Because that’s not really a change to me?” “Right,” nodded Nate. “Could I ask to be a genius and permanently healthy?” Jack asked, hopefully. “That takes two requests, Jack.” “Yeah, I figured so,” said Jack. “But I could ask to be a genius? I could become the smartest scientist in the world? Or the best athlete?” “Well, I could make you very smart,” admitted Nate, “but that wouldn’t necessarily make you the best scientist in the world. Or, I could make you very athletic, but it wouldn’t necessarily make you the best athlete either. You’ve heard the saying that 99% of genius is hard work? Well, there’s some truth to that. I can give you the talent, but I can’t make you work hard. It all depends on what you decide to do with it.”

“Hmmm,” said Jack. “Ok, I think I understand. And I get a third request, after this one?” “Maybe,” said Nate, “it depends on what you decide then. There are more rules for the third request that I can only tell you about after the second request. You know how it goes.” Nate looked like he’d shrug, if he had shoulders. “Ok, well, since I’d rather not be blind in a day or two, and permanent health doesn’t sound bad, then consider that my second request. Officially. Do I need to sign in blood or something?”

“No,” said Nate. “Just hold out your hand. Or heel.” Nate grinned. “Or
whatever part you want me to bite. I have to bite you again. Like I said,
that’s how it works - the poison, you know,” Nate said apologetically.

Jack winced a little and felt his shoulder, where the last bite was. Hey, it
didn’t hurt any more. Just like Nate had said. That made Jack feel better
about the biting business. But still, standing still while a fifteen foot
snake sunk it’s fangs into you. Jack stood up. Ignoring how good it felt to
be able to stand again, and the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, Jack
tried to decide where he wanted to get bitten. Despite knowing that it
wouldn’t hurt for long, Jack knew that this wasn’t going to be easy.

“Hey, Jack,” Nate suddenly said, looking past Jack towards the dunes behind
him, “is that someone else coming up over there?”

Jack spun around and looked. Who else could be out here in the middle of
nowhere? And did they bring food?

Wait a minute, there was nobody over there. What was Nate…

Jack let out a bellow as he felt two fangs sink into his rear end, through
his jeans…

Jack sat down carefully, favoring his more tender buttock. “I would have
decided, eventually, Nate. I was just thinking about it. You didn’t have to
hoodwink me like that.”

“I’ve been doing this a long time, Jack,” said Nate, confidently. “You
humans have a hard time sitting still and letting a snake bite you -
especially one my size. And besides, admit it - it’s only been a couple of
minutes and it already doesn’t hurt any more, does it? That’s because of the
health benefit with this one. I told you that you’d heal quickly now.”

“Yeah, well, still,” said Jack, “it’s the principle of the thing. And nobody
likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn’t you have gotten my calf or
something instead?”

“More meat in the typical human butt,” replied Nate. “And less chance you
accidentally kick me or move at the last second.”

“Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify
to hear,” answered Jack.

“Ok,” said Nate. “Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to
just start talking?”

“Just talk,” said Jack. “I’ll sit here and try to not think about food.”

“We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like,”
answered Nate.

“Hey! You didn’t tell me you had food around here, Nate!” Jack jumped up.
“What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically
whip up food along with your other powers?” Jack was almost shouting with
excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours.

“I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite
it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife,
that is,” replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to.

“Ugh,” said Jack, sitting back down. “I think I’ll pass. I can last a little
longer before I get desperate enough to eat desert rat, or whatever else it
is you find out here. And there’s nothing to burn - I’d have to eat it raw.
No thanks. Just talk.”

“Ok,” replied Nate, still grinning. “But I’d better hurry, before you start
looking at me as food.

Nate reared back a little, looked around for a second, and then continued.
“You, Jack, are sitting in the middle of the Garden of Eden.”

Jack looked around at the sand and dunes and then looked back at Nate
sceptically.

“Well, that’s the best I can figure it, anyway, Jack,” said Nate. “Stand up
and look at the symbol on the rock here.” Nate gestured around the dark
stone they were both sitting on with his nose.

Jack stood up and looked. Carved into the stone in a bas-relief was a
representation of a large tree. The angled-pole that Nate was wrapped around
was coming out of the trunk of the tree, right below where the main branches
left the truck to reach out across the stone. It was very well done - it
looked more like a tree had been reduced to almost two dimensions and
embedded in the stone than it did like a carving.

Jack walked around and looked at the details in the fading light of the
setting sun. He wished he’d looked at it while the sun was higher in the
sky.

Wait! The sun was setting! That meant he was going to have to spend another
night out here! Arrrgh!

Jack looked out across the desert for a little bit, and then came back and
stood next to Nate. “In all the excitement, I almost forgot, Nate,” said
Jack. “Which way is it back to town? And how far? I’m eventually going to
have to head back - I’m not sure I’ll be able to survive by eating raw
desert critters for long. And even if I can, I’m not sure I’ll want to.”

“It’s about 30 miles that way.” Nate pointed, with the rattle on his tail
this time. As far as Jack could tell, it was a direction at right angles to
the way he’d been going when he was crawling here. “But that’s 30 miles by
the way the crow flies. It’s about 40 by the way a man walks. You should be
able to do it in about half a day with your improved endurance, if you head
out early tomorrow, Jack.”

Jack looked out the way the snake had pointed for a few seconds more, and
then sat back down. It was getting dark. Not much he could do about heading
out right now. And besides, Nate was just about to get to the interesting
stuff. “Garden of Eden? As best as you can figure it?”

“Well, yeah, as best as I and Samuel could figure it anyway,” said Nate. “He
figured that the story just got a little mixed up. You know, snake, in a
‘tree’, offering ‘temptations’, making bargains. That kind stuff. But he
could never quite figure out how the Hebrews found out about this spot from
across the ocean. He worried about that for a while.”

“Garden of Eden, hunh?” said Jack. “How long have you been here, Nate?”

“No idea, really,” replied Nate. “A long time. It never occurred to me to
count years, until recently, and by then, of course, it was too late. But I
do remember when this whole place was green, so I figure it’s been thousands
of years, at least.”

“So, are you the snake that tempted Eve?” said Jack.

“Beats me,” said Nate. “Maybe. I can’t remember if the first one of your
kind that I talked to was female or not, and I never got a name, but it
could have been. And I suppose she could have considered my offer to grant
requests a ‘temptation’, though I’ve rarely had refusals.”

“Well, umm, how did you get here then? And why is that white pole stuck out
of the stone there?” asked Jack.

“Dad left me here. Or, I assume it was my dad. It was another snake - much
bigger than I was back then. I remember talking to him, but I don’t remember
if it was in a language, or just kind of understanding what he wanted. But
one day, he brought me to this stone, told me about it, and asked me to do
something for him. I talked it over with him for a while, then agreed. I’ve
been here ever since.

“What is this place?” said Jack. “And what did he ask you to do?”

“Well, you see this pole here, sticking out of the stone?” Nate loosened his
coils around the tilted white pole and showed Jack where it descended into
the stone. The pole was tilted at about a 45 degree angle and seemed to
enter the stone in an eighteen inch slot cut into the stone. Jack leaned
over and looked. The slot was dark and the pole went down into it as far as
Jack could see in the dim light. Jack reached out to touch the pole, but
Nate was suddenly there in the way.

“You can’t touch that yet, Jack,” said Nate.

“Why not?” asked Jack.

“I haven’t explained it to you yet,” replied Nate.

“Well, it kinda looks like a lever or something,” said Jack. “You’d push it
that way, and it would move in the slot.”

“Yep, that’s what it is,” replied Nate.

“What does it do?” asked Jack. “End the world?”

I haven't figured out how many parts to this story there'll be, but it's worth it if you stick around!

Sad weekend looming, Matt departs NZ for the U.S for 8 days, leaving me to my own devices. Ohwell, while the cats away...

The mice get fat on junkfood and chickflicks?

Part Three

2006-07-13T10:48:00.000+12:00

After a while, he comes to a big dune in the sand. This is bad. He doesn’t remember any dunes when driving over the sand in his SUV. Or at least he doesn’t think he remembers any. This is bad. But, he has no other direction to go. Too late to turn back now. He figures that he’ll get to the top of the dune and see if he can see anything from there that helps him find the town. He keeps going up the dune.

Halfway up, he slips in the bad footing of the sand for the second or third time, and falls to his knees. He doesn’t feel like getting back up - he’ll just fall down again. So, he keeps going up the dune on his hand and knees. While crawling, if his throat weren’t so dry, he’d laugh. He’s finally gotten to the hackneyed image of a man lost in the desert - crawling through the sand on his hands and knees. If would be the perfect image, he imagines, if only his clothes were more ragged. The people crawling through the desert in the cartoons always had ragged clothes. But his have lasted without any rips so far. Somebody will probably find his dessicated corpse half buried in the sand years from now, and his clothes will still be in fine shape - shake the sand out, and a good wash, and they’d be wearable again. He wishes his throat were wet enough to laugh. He coughs a little instead, and it hurts.

He finally makes it to the top of the sand dune. Now that he’s at the top, he struggles a little, but manages to stand up and look around. All he sees is sand. Sand, and more sand. Behind him, about a mile away, he thinks he sees the rocky ground he left to head into this sand. Ahead of him, more dunes, more sand. This isn’t where he drove his SUV. This is Hell. Or close enough. Again, he doesn’t know what to do. He decides to drink the rest of the wiper fluid while figuring it out. He takes out the bottle, and is removing the cap, when he glances to the side and sees something. Something in the sand. At the bottom of the dune, off to the side, he sees something strange. It’s a flat area, in the sand. He stops taking the cap of the bottle off, and tries to look closer. The area seems to be circular. And it’s dark - darker than the sand. And, there seems to be something in the middle of it, but he can’t tell what it is. He looks as hard as he can, and still can tell from here. He’s going to have to go down there and look. He puts the bottle back in his pocket, and starts to stumble down the dune. After a few steps, he realizes that he’s in trouble - he’s not going to be able to keep his balance. After a couple of more sliding, tottering steps, he falls and starts to roll down the dune. The sand it so hot when his body hits it that for a minute he thinks he’s caught fire on the way down - like a movie car wreck flashing into flames as it goes over the cliff, before it ever even hits the ground. He closes his eyes and mouth, covers his face with his hands, and waits to stop rolling.

He stops, at the bottom of the dune. After a minute or two, he finds enough energy to try to sit up and get the sand out of his face and clothes. When he clears his eyes enough, he looks around to make sure that the dark spot in the sand it still there and he hadn’t just imagined it. So, seeing the large, flat, dark spot on the sand is still there, he begins to crawl towards it. He’d get up and walk towards it, but he doesn’t seem to have the energy to get up and walk right now. He must be in the final stages of dehydration he figures, as he crawls. If this place in the sand doesn’t have water, he’ll likely never make it anywhere else. This is his last chance. He gets closer and closer, but still can’t see what’s in the middle of the dark area. His eyes won’t quite focus any more for some reason. And lifting his head up to look takes so much effort that he gives up trying. He just keeps crawling. Finally, he reaches the area he’d seen from the dune. It takes him a minute of crawling on it before he realizes that he’s no longer on sand - he’s now crawling on some kind of dark stone. Stone with some kind of marking on it - a pattern cut into the stone. He’s too tired to stand up and try to see what the pattern is - so he just keeps crawling. He crawls towards the center, where his blurry eyes still see something in the middle of the dark stone area.

His mind, detached in a strange way, notes that either his hands and knees are so burnt by the sand that they no longer feel pain, or that this dark stone, in the middle of a burning desert with a pounding, punishing sun overhead, doesn’t seem to be hot. It almost feels cool. He considers lying down on the nice cool surface. Cool, dark stone. Not a good sign. He must be hallucinating this. He’s probably in the middle of a patch of sand, already lying face down and dying, and just imagining this whole thing. A desert mirage. Soon the beautiful women carrying pitchers of water will come up and start giving him a drink. Then he’ll know he’s gone. He decides against laying down on the cool stone. If he’s going to die here in the middle of this hallucination, he at least wants to see what’s in the center before he goes. He keeps crawling. It’s the third time that he hears the voice before he realizes what he’s hearing. He would swear that someone just said, “Greetings, traveler. You do not look well. Do you hear me?”

He stops crawling. He tries to look up from where he is on his hands and knees, but it’s too much effort to lift his head. So he tries something different - he leans back and tries to sit up on the stone. After a few seconds, he catches his balance, avoids falling on his face, sits up, and tries to focus his eyes. Blurry. He rubs his eyes with the back of his hands and tries again. Better this time. Yep. He can see. He’s sitting in the middle of a large, flat, dark expanse of stone. Directly next to him, about three feet away, is a white post or pole about two inches in diameter and sticking up about four or five feet out of the stone, at an angle. And wrapped around this white rod, tail with rattle on it hovering and seeming to be ready to start rattling, is what must be a fifteen foot long desert diamondback rattlesnake, looking directly at him. He stares at the snake in shock. He doesn’t have the energy to get up and run away. He doesn’t even have the energy to crawl away. This is it, his final resting place. No matter what happens, he’s not going to be able to move from this spot.

Well, at least dying of a bite from this monster should be quicker than dying of thirst. He’ll face his end like a man. He struggles to sit up a little straighter. The snake keeps watching him. He lifts one hand and waves it in the snake’s direction, feebly. The snake watches the hand for a moment, then goes back to watching the man, looking into his eyes. Hmmm. Maybe the snake had no interest in biting him? It hadn’t rattled yet - that was a good sign. Maybe he wasn’t going to die of snake bite after all. He then remembers that he’d looked up when he’d reached the center here because he thought he’d heard a voice. He was still very woozy - he was likely to pass out soon, the sun still beat down on him even though he was now on cool stone. He still didn’t have anything to drink. But maybe he had actually heard a voice. This stone didn’t look natural. Nor did that white post sticking up out of the stone. Someone had to have built this. Maybe they were still nearby. Maybe that was who talked to him. Maybe this snake was even their pet, and that’s why it wasn’t biting. He tries to clear his throat to say, “Hello,” but his throat is too dry. All that comes out is a coughing or wheezing sound. There is no way he’s going to be able to talk without something to drink. He feels his pocket, and the bottle with the wiper fluid is still there. He shakily pulls the bottle out, almost losing his balance and falling on his back in the process. This isn’t good. He doesn’t have much time left, by his reckoning, before he passes out.

He gets the lid off of the bottle, manages to get the bottle to his lips, and pours some of the fluid into his mouth. He sloshes it around, and then swallows it. He coughs a little. His throat feels better. Maybe he can talk now. He tries again. Ignoring the snake, he turns to look around him, hoping to spot the owner of this place, and croaks out, “Hello? Is there anyone here?” He hears, from his side, “Greetings. What is it that you want?”.

Tune in for part Four tomorrow. My apologies for being a day out, yesterday I was so busy and just forgot! But not again, at least not until the story's over!

Atrocities from The Herald

2006-07-11T12:38:00.000+12:00

Taken from The NZ Herald:

A grass-roots rugby representative is so upset about the 'throat-cutting' gesture in the All blacks' new haka that he says he will lay a "threatening to kill" complaint with police if he sees the haka again. But the Rugby Union (NZRU) says the gesture was misinterpreted. The All Blacks performed the haka - Kapa o Pango - on Saturday before their game against Australia. Errol Anderson, vice-president and treasurer of the Featherston Rugby Club, said yesterday the finger across the throat gesture could only be seen as a threat. "There's only one interpretation of a throat-slitting gesture and that is a threat to kill," Mr Anderson said. If he saw the gesture again he would resign from his position at the Featherston rugby club and make a complaint to the police.

Excuse me if I"m a bit blunt here, but What in the name of Buck Shelford is this guy on? For a start, the Haka is not being performed AT YOU, thus it can't be a direct threat to kill, unless, by performing the Haka on tv, live to millions of NZ and Australian viewers you think the Allblacks mean to kill the entire NZ and Australian population - which would be Genocide, or at the very least Terrorism, and you might need to do some convincing to get that one past the police.

Idiot.

Also, who cares if some dude in Featherston is offended by the Haka? I'm more surprised at the Herald for indulging in this loser's bullshit by running the article at all. As New Zealanders, we expect that some Politically Correct lunatic would complain about something, but we don't expect the media to pander to these idiots.

Anyway, here's the bit that amuses me most:

If he saw the gesture again he would resign from his position at the Featherston
rugby club and make a complaint to the police.

uhoh, he'll resign!!! What will we do???

although I will admit, Richie's looking alot less than his fine self in this particular image demonstrating the 'offensive' gesture.

The day the bus caught on fire

2006-07-11T08:57:00.000+12:00

Monday started off as any other normal Monday. Sleepy, cold, a thousand reasons not to go to work. As usual I reluctantly pushed those reasons aside, and dragged myself out of the snuggly warmth of bed.

The day went on, also as any other normal Monday. Every man and their dog wanting something done by yesterday, a looming deadline, and masses of weekend trademe to catch up on. Ooh, national headlines - they finally caught Jin the Otter! Hooray!! Italy won the cup! Hooray!! - and slowly the day continued, until 4.15pm, time to leave.
I catch the 4.40pm 243 - New Lynn (via Sandringham and Owairaka) Express bus, which usually gets me home by 5.15/5.30 ish, and as per any other normal Monday, I got on this bus without a hitch.

As it was a day like any other normal Monday, I pulled out my book (As you can see by the image in my sidebar, I'm currently reading Jane Austen's "Emma"), but as per any other normal Monday, this bus driver was a violent one, flinging us around corners and slamming on brakes to pick up poor, unsuspecting souls at each stop. This was not to be an "Emma" reading day. Instead I just try my hardest to stay awake, which is hard given the abnormal amount of Carbon Monoxide I appear to be inhaling... Dodgy window seals I bet. Inhaling Exhaust fumes from outside...

Wait a minute - the buses engine, and thus exhaust, is in the back.

What's that? The back seat's smouldering?

*cough cough* Hmm, something's not right. Better move to the front.

And so the bus came to a grinding halt at the next stop, and everyone was ordered off. Just as well too, I was getting sick of everyone driving past waving frantically at us. Did ya think we didn't notice? Did ya see how the inside was full of smoke? Yeah, did ya think we hadn't seen that? Or perhaps we might have been having a party inside the bus, and let the smoke machine go a bit wild.

Anyway, the fire wasn't so much a fire, but all the smoke pouring out from the back, and the fact that the busdriver burnt his hand opening the hatch, indicated that perhaps it wasn't long until there was a fire, and we assume this with good reason, shown at these articles about previous bus fires here, and here. By my count this will be the 5th bus fire in Auckland in 13 months.

Anyway, here's part two of the wonderful story that I found on Addie's blog. Enjoy!

Full dark comes before he knows it. He must have dozed off. He stands back
up and turns all the way around. He sees nothing but stars.

He wakes up the next morning feeling absolutely lousy. His eyes are gummy
and his mouth and nose feel like they’re full of sand. He so thirsty that he
can’t even swallow. He barely got any sleep because it was so cold. He’d
forgotten how cold it got at night in the desert and hadn’t noticed it the
night before because he’d been in his car.

He knows the Rule of Threes - three minutes without air, three days without
water, three weeks without food - then you die. Some people can make it a
little longer, in the best situations. But the desert heat and having to
walk and sweat isn’t the best situation to be without water. He figures,
unless he finds water, this is his last day.

He rinses his mouth out with a little of the windshield wiper fluid. He
waits a while after spitting that little bit out, to see if his mouth goes
numb, or he feels dizzy or something. Has his mouth gone numb? Is it just in
his mind? He’s not sure. He’ll go a little farther, and if he still doesn’t
find water, he’ll try drinking some of the fluid.

Then he has to face his next, harder question - which way does he go from
here? Does he keep walking the same way he was yesterday (assuming that he
still knows which way that is), or does he try a new direction? He has no
idea what to do.

Looking at the hills and dunes around him, he thinks he knows the direction
he was heading before. Just going by a feeling, he points himself somewhat
to the left of that, and starts walking.

As he walks, the day starts heating up. The desert, too cold just a couple
of hours before, soon becomes an oven again. He sweats a little at first,
and then stops. He starts getting worried at that - when you stop sweating
he knows that means you’re in trouble - usually right before heat stroke.

He decides that it’s time to try the windshield wiper fluid. He can’t wait
any longer - if he passes out, he’s dead. He stops in the shade of a large
rock, takes the bottle out, opens it, and takes a mouthful. He slowly
swallows it, making it last as long as he can. It feels so good in his dry
and cracked throat that he doesn’t even care about the nasty taste. He takes
another mouthful, and makes it last too. Slowly, he drinks half the bottle.
He figures that since he’s drinking it, he might as well drink enough to
make some difference and keep himself from passing out.

He’s quit worrying about the denaturing of the wiper fluid. If it kills him,
it kills him - if he didn’t drink it, he’d die anyway. Besides, he’s pretty
sure that whatever substance they denature the fluid with is just designed
to make you sick - their way of keeping winos from buying cheap wiper fluid
for the ethanol content. He can handle throwing up, if it comes to that.

He walks. He walks in the hot, dry, windless desert. Sand, rocks, hills,
dunes, the occasional scrawny cactus or dried bush. No sign of water.
Sometimes he’ll see a little movement to one side or the other, but whatever
moved is usually gone before he can focus his eyes on it. Probably birds,
lizards, or mice. Maybe snakes, though they usually move more at night. He’s
careful to stay away from the movements.

After a while, he begins to stagger. He’s not sure if it’s fatigue, heat
stroke finally catching him, or maybe he was wrong and the denaturing of the
wiper fluid was worse than he thought. He tries to steady himself, and keep
going.

After more walking, he comes to a large stretch of sand. This is good! He
knows he passed over a stretch of sand in the SUV - he remembers doing
donuts in it. Or at least he thinks he remembers it - he’s getting woozy
enough and tired enough that he’s not sure what he remembers any more or if
he’s hallucinating. But he thinks he remembers it. So he heads off into it,
trying to get to the other side, hoping that it gets him closer to the town.

He was heading for a town, wasn’t he? He thinks he was. He isn’t sure any
more. He’s not even sure how long he’s been walking any more. Is it still
morning? Or has it moved into afternoon and the sun is going down again? It
must be afternoon - it seems like it’s been too long since he started out.

He walks through the sand....

What will happen tomorrow?? Will he find the town that he's looking for, or will he find his DOOM?

Monday - Great story Part 1

2006-07-10T10:09:00.000+12:00

Big thanks to Addie who found this wonderful (and slightly frustrating) story online. It's really long, so I'm going to post it up here in parts.

Anyone else who's read the story already - don't spoil it for the others who haven't!!! :D

So, there’s a man crawling through the desert.

He’d decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had
great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a
big rock, and then he couldn’t get it started again. There were no cell
phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family,
his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few
friends had no idea he was out here.

He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out
and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now
that he’d paid attention to the sun and thought he’d figured out which way
was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go
about 30 miles or so and he’d be back to the small town he’d gotten gas in
last.

He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon
how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no
flashlight, he’s afraid that he’ll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So,
he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication
later, brings an umbrella he’d had in the back of the SUV with him to give
him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle
in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a
cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the
direction he thinks is right.

He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he’s really thirsty. He’s
been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He’s reapplied
the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels
sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket
is really getting tempting now. He knows that it’s mainly water and some
ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to
it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, and
whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst.

He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark.

By the end of the day he starts getting worried. He figures he’s been
walking at least 3 miles an hour, according to his watch for over 10 hours.
That means that if his estimate was right that he should be close to the
town. But he doesn’t recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed
a mile or two back, and he doesn’t remember coming through it in the SUV. He
figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry
creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he’s
close, and that after dark he’ll start seeing the town lights over one of
these hills, and that’ll be all he needs.

As it gets dim enough that he starts stumbling over small rocks and things,
he finds a spot and sits down to wait for full dark and the town lights...

So, does he make it through the night? Will the lights brighten the sky, and show him the way? Stay tuned tomorrow - Same Bat Time, Same Bat Blog!

Keeping it SIMple

2006-07-10T09:32:00.000+12:00

Wow, it's almost been an entire month since my last entry. Sorry! What's been going on with me then....

Well, I've been quite into playing the Sims 2 lately, with the University, Nightlife, and Open for Business expansion packs - and it really is quite fun. I made two sims, Mia and Tia- they're sisters - and they live with this dude called "Chester Gieke" (pronounced geek) who's finding his way through life. They have lots of cars and I think they've all become alcoholics. For some reason the first thing they do when they get up, is head for the bar to "make poured / blended drinks". Is there a Sims AA? :)

And even though they're sisters, they're vastly different from each other. One has short blonde hair, is highly creative and logical (works in politics), and is a hit with the men, and the other has long dark hair, not so much creative, has lots of friends but no romantic interests as yet, great at cooking, and also works in politics, but isn't too logical.

Anyway, they all have lots of cars - this was the important thing for me. Thanks to http://www.modthesims2.com I was able to procure a large range of vehicles for my sims, including: Ferrari Enzo F60, a Pagani Zonda, a Koenigsigg, 2 Dodge Vipers, a Corvette Stingray, a customised chopper, 2 R34 GTR Skylines, a Porsche Cayenne, a Mercedes McLaren SLK, and finally, an H1 Hummer.

Anyway, so you might notice the really bright and colourful MicroMachines banner along my footer and sidebar now, and wonder "what on earth is she doing?" Well, my dearies, I am advertising. Yup. See, every now and then I get given (yes GIVEN - for FREE) games to review. At first there was Spartan Total Warrior (by Sega - on Xbox) then there was Rome: Total War (also by Sega, this time on PC, must try it on Gamespy one day), and coming up now is Codemaster's revamp of MicroMachines, on PSP. So if you're at all interested, stay tuned (next month maybe heh) for a review (and hopefully piccies, if I can figure out how to screenshot from a psp) of MicroMachines V4 on PSP.

Gives me something to do on the bus at least :)

Go check out the site in the meantime :-)

Church and State...

2006-06-14T14:02:00.000+12:00

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Auckland, New Zealand,as an illegal immigrant and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights". Noah was dubious about the project, because unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights is normal in Auckland, but he knew he must bow to the will of the Lord.
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his revered quarter acre section....but no ark. "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?" "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building consent from the council,. I've been arguing with the Fire Service about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the zoning laws by building the Ark on my property and exceeding the height limitations. We then had to go to Arbitration for a decision.
Then the electricity companies demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. The Greens have placed a ban on cutting local timber in order to save the Kiwi. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I
needed the wood to save the birds. But no go! When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Maori have forbidden the project to continue unless taniwha are permitted on the Ark and indigenous tribes own half the Ark after I have designed and built it. I also have to agree to pay $150 Billion for depriving Maori of traditional lands by means of inundation, which they allege, is simply a case of "holy colonization".
I am bogged down in further negotiations on multimillion payments for rights to sail the Ark on the seas of Aotearoa. Other Maori tribes have sued me because they allege the Ark is a Pakeha version of the Maori canoe and they have appealed to the Waitangi Tribunal to declare it tapu. Then the Environmental Court ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many Maori I'm supposed to hire for my building crew and the requirement for separate female toilets in case I hire a woman. Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience,and they expect a day in leiu if we work weekends or public holidays plus holiday day pay and rain allowances. OSH has decreed each employee must be equipped with a life jacket and personal life raft even though we are building on the mountain. When I pointed this out, they made me provide ice axes and climbing boots for each employee and their families,and harnesses because I was working over 3 metres in height. To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. At first the Labour government was in favour of my project because it created building jobs on our mountain. Then they were shocked by an opinion poll which revealed that 99% of all New Zealanders opposed a devastating flood, and after an emergency cabinet meeting, Helen Clark announced that Labour had never favoured floods as a means of solving problems and was totally opposed to the project (unless future opinion polls revealed popular support for the Ark). She said "God should sit down and talk sensibly about the issues". So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark." Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?". "No," said the Lord.

"The New Zealand Government beat me to it."

Post rated R18

2006-06-08T17:08:00.000+12:00

Upon trying desperately to decide on a blogging topic for this week, the overwhelming consensus from friends and colleagues has lead me to turn my little piece of online life towards something(s) quite literally close to my heart.

Breasts.

Also known as "tits", these gems of wonder can create quite a kerfuffle when presented under the right clothing, and infact, when presented without clothing at all. Men in particular seem to have quite some interest in breasts, although this blogger can not tell you why (she would have to know first).

There is speculation that there is some psychological connection between a mother's nursing and the male's sexual fascination with breasts, but I'd prefer not to delve much deeper into that line of thought, as it's kind of gross.

Anyway, Here are the top SFW results when googling "breasts"
1) Chewing Gum can Enhance Breasts
2) Uneven Breasts linked to Breast cancer
3) Boobs and Bras
4) Designer creates wall of breasts
5) Protect your Chest and Breasts

All interesting stuff.

Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what YOU think of breasts!

For Phil

2006-05-29T11:34:00.000+12:00

It has been brought to my attention by one of my faithful readers, that I need to update my blog more...

Shout Outs to my homie Big Phil!

Or should that be "props"?

Aaaaanyway, here is my pledge. From here on in I promise to try my best to make informative and entertaining updates as often as possible, with gaps no longer than one week between posts.
And at least One Image shall accompany each post.

So, without further ado, here is today's picture, with special dedication to our friend Phil.

Poofy Hair? Must be winter.

2006-05-16T09:12:00.000+12:00

Or, in fact, it could be ANY season in Auckland City, New Zealand.

They call this the city of sails. Perhaps it should be renamed to the city of Rain. For the last week this supposed "Cold Snap" (implying a short sudden burst of cold weather) has tormented our fair city and my poor garden (and thankfully, my lawn), but worst of all, my hair.

Back in Christmas of 2004 my Mother (my wonderful, wonderful Mother) bought me the ultimate in hair styling tools - the GHD Straightening irons. I had coveted these ever since I started going to a hairdresser that used them, for these were the ONLY irons that gave me sleek, gorgeous looking hair. And finally, I had some for myself (so could save myself the $20 of going down to the stylists on a Saturday afternoon).

The problem, however, is that in Auckland the weather is either a kajillion degrees and 90%+ humidity, or 10 degrees and 60% humidity, with 90% chance of rain. So I have approximately 5 guaranteed days of sleek, straight hair per year.

*sigh*

I'm well aware there are chemical products available out there in the world to make my hair straight permanently (until it grows), so as to minimise my straightening time, but with the length and volume of my hair, I don't have the spare Kajillion dollars to spend on it. And also, I have much better things to spend my money on.

Like, perhaps, an umbrella. Or portable Dehumidifier.

Anyway, we should welcome and embrace winter, with open arms. And hot chocolate.

And snowboards.

And hot ski / snowboarding guys that come over for various winter festivals.
And (for the guys) hot ski / snowboard bunnies that come over for various winter festivals.

US Lost time!

2006-05-04T13:09:00.000+12:00

Live blogging the US chapter of the Lost ARG:
well liveblogging was a bust cos nothing happened till towards the end of the show:
last set of ad breaks, the hanso foundation ad came on and gave the following number to call: 1-877 HANSORG

I think everyone in the US must be trying to get through though, because it's just silence and then disconnection for many people. Will keep trying, though, and see what I can hear :)

Lost is on

2006-05-03T20:31:00.000+12:00

What will happen? will we get an ad too?

Apparently not.

According to the NZ Herald, we are expecting our own set of clues like Australia, the US, and the UK, but apparently we don't get the luxury of getting them the same week as everyone else.

*sigh*

oh well.

Lost ARG Alert!

2006-05-03T08:38:00.000+12:00

35 minutes till the UK episode of Lost.... in which we are expecting the first of the international clues to begin...

The Lost Experience!!!

See this link for information: New York Times Lost ARG alert

In the current ARG world, we believe the dates are wrong, as UK's Lost episode is tonight (20 minutes to go now!), AU's episode is tomorrow, as is the US's, so we must be getting clues tonight. So far, revisiting* the Hanso Foundation site and trying to sign up for the newsletter gives us some very trailheadish goodness:
Who's Persephone?
Why did the images get drawn on after entering a screen name?
What's the password???

We're expecting answers in an ad break during the UK's episode of Lost tonight, which screens in *EEEK* ten minutes now. To join us in following the lost experience, feel free to come along to the ARG forums at Immersion Unlimited and Unfiction. Beware of spoilers as these are international communities!!

**** UPDATE****

An Ad for the hanso foundation just came on during the UK screening of Lost with the following phone number to call: 0800 66 66 40. Various ARGers in the UK are calling it now with the hopes of gaining the password to register for the newsletter on the Hanso Foundation site. It also mimicks the same Toll Free numbering convention for NZ, but having tried this number it doesn't yet exist.

UKers report that the number goes to a voicemail for Alvar Hanso himself, interrupted by (perhaps) our Persephone asking: "Who is Alvar Hanso" (thanks Sequoya).... curious...
Perhaps Telecom is in on the game, getting ready to activate the number tonight for our episode? Who knows? More as it happens!!

New world of blogging!

2006-05-02T08:37:00.000+12:00

Wow.

Since this whole home owning thing started, a whole new world of conversation / net surfing / blogging has opened up to me. Today will be the first of this new world:

Gardening.

So first up on the Gardening tip is: Orchids. And with regards to this topic, I have a question: Why aren't my orchids blooming?!?!

Before the move, our orchids (4/5 bulbs in one pot of bark) would bloom twice a year. After the move they were placed down the side of the house, but on a side that gets good sun and rain. they were in a pot that was stacked in a few other pots, so it never sat in water, always drained, and the leaves remain green.

But they haven't bloomed since early summer, perhaps even before then.

Now, I'm pretty sure being in autumn, we're due for a blooming anytime soon, but they don't even look inclined to bloom. They just sit there, all green and stuff, not sprouting.

So... anyone know anything about orchids?

The internet is so conflicting in its advice, I've just given up trying to source the answer from there. Hopefully someone still reads this, and that someone knows how to look after orchids, or nurse them back from sickness.

The voices inside my xbox...

2006-04-12T11:29:00.000+12:00

So, as you may know, we got an Xbox 360 a few weeks ago, in keeping with our techno geek obsession, and Friday night saw the connection of 360 to DSL router...

Xbox Live baby (Yeah!)

At first I wasn't sure it would work. Very few things happen to work for me when I set them up. Sure I work in IT, thus could setup and maintain a corporate network like *that*, but ask me to edit Xbox ethernet settings (RTFM Caroline!!!) and I'm stuck.

Luckily the 360 was quite literally plug and play. I didn't have to change any DNS settings / ip addresses / gateways etc, it just picked up the network and connected instantly.

Love it!

So the first game I played online was Call of Duty 2, and it was wicked, except for the inordinate amount of campers. After playing for a bit, these random voices that sounded like Stephen Hawking came out of nowhere and freaked me out a bit. I'd forgotten about the voice communication ability of XBL, and it came as a bit of a shock to learn my opponents / team mates were all in the states. I had assumed that the Live Lobby would match me with whoever was closest, and I don't believe that out of all the live games of COD2 out there, the closest was being hosted in California. So, I played, and played and played and played, and died. And Died, died and died. I started off with a tolerable (yet less than ideal) ping of 190+. I finished the round with a disgustingly horrid ping over 400!!!

The observant few might notice the new addition to my sidebar, the 'gamer card'. Any Kiwi Live players out there, feel free to add me to your friends list, then feel free to invite me to a game. I'd love to play a good local live game where possible. I much prefer standard weapons to customised games with Sniper Rifles Only or Rocket Launchers Only. It takes too long to walk across a standard PD0 Map with a rocket launcher on your shoulder.

At any rate, everyone should buy an Xbox 360 and love it! Love it lots! Like Me!!

Ok and about me: My Back's better, I finished my root canal yesterday and everything's fine, the dentist was painless and so was the anaesthetic come-down, Matt's gone away for a week, will be back tomorrow night at 11.59pm (stupid frickin airline....) and Mum comes up next week to take me to the Bridal Expo, and Ice Age 2 (yay!).

Good Times, Good times.

Also, Everyone must know: it is 3 weeks and 6 days until my 24th Birthday. But please, *No Gifts* necessary.

No... really... I don't want anything.

Nothing at all.
Not a damn thing.

*WINK* :-D

2006-04-06T13:01:00.000+12:00

For anyone that cares, I'm so sorry I've been slack with updating of late. Moving house / dental problems / new xbox have all taken up so much time that I've just had very little to spend on blogging!

The move was quite painful - literally. My lowerback is similar to that of an 80 year olds at the moment: When I cough, it hurts; when I sneeze, it hurts; when I try to do anything that involves a deep breath, it hurts. Stupid compressing vertebrae. Gah! The list of things I can do without pain includes "XBOX" :D

So I've played a few levels of Perfect Dark Zero: LOVED IT! Played a few levels of Call of Duty 2 - LOVED IT EVEN MORE! Can't wait till September when Splinter Cell 4 - Double Agent comes out! will LOVE IT!

So what with an impending root canal, tidying and sorting the new house, and exploring the world of xbox 360, I've unfortunately neglected you lot. You, being the imaginary you that I imagine read this blog.

So, well, Sorry! Be back soon :)

Jack!

2006-03-22T10:58:00.000+12:00

Continuing on from our Chuck Norris extraordinaire, I bring you the wonder that is:

Jack Bauer.

Jack, if you don't already know, is the hero of "24", the television drama that everyone seems to either love, hate, or not understand because they missed an episode. Jack is played by Kiefer Sutherland.

Jack Bauer is a person we should all aspire to emulate both in fighting ability, and coolness. As such, here are a few random facts about our favourite CTU operative.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."

Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.

And my personal favourite:

If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

For the rest, check out NotRly.com.

CHUCK!

2006-03-17T11:53:00.000+13:00

To liven things up around here, I thought a bit of Chuck was in order. What's so great about Chuck Norris you ask? First of all, I need no response, as Chuck will Roundhouse kick you off this earth so fast, you won't even remember what the question was. Second of all, he comes with all sorts of nonsensical "Facts" that I would like to share - with you.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

And because this is installment 1 of a, hopefully, never ending series of Chuck Norris celebrations, here are a few more!

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

If you enjoyed these, check out Chuck Norris Facts dot com and get your favourite fact on a t-shirt!

Growing Up...

2006-03-15T09:44:00.000+13:00

We bought a house!

A cute ex-state 3 bedroom number on 753 square metres in Blockhouse Bay will be our home for the next stage of our lives, and I'm so excited! However I need some advice.

What moving company should we go with that offers the best overall package in the following areas:
1) hourly rate
2) size/variety of moving vehicles
3) care with transport / loading / unloading
4) liability insurance
5) non-dodgy movers (ie, not going to come back and steal everything they've moved).

The move will take place from the Central Auckland area within the next few weeks.

OOOH anyone know of any places with nice curtains? :D
SO MUCH TO CONSIDER!

*sigh* I'm getting old :D

Ricky Gervais Show Season 2

2006-03-02T08:26:00.000+13:00

With all new.... well, nothing really :) Everything's the same, except...

1) You have to pay for it (but it's not that much really)
2) NO MONKEY NEWS (chimpanzee that!)

So much is the same, infact, that episode one starts with the same classic joke/argument from last season (the one about the world and time and would we start time again from the start (January 1 year 1) or would we go from where we left off...), Ricky continues to call out Karl's (surely manufactured) ~~stupidity~~ naivete, and Karl's Diary remains!!

Or, the official description:

"Karl worries about the stationery implications of relocating to another planet; relativity and re-runs of the 1980 World Cup Final; Doppelganger: The Karl Who Haunted Himself; a brainteaser for a man with no brain; extracts from Karl's diary; and the return of "Rockbusters".

To end, here's a quote from Mr. Karl Pilkington himself (pilfered from this New York Times Article):

"All the stuff I say, I don't really think it's that mad," he said. "I just hope the podcast helps people remember. You know, if the next Einstein or Newton comes along and nicks me idea about people aging backwards and turning into a baby — if that happens, I'll be livid."

So help Karl Pilkington earn some money - subscribe to Season 2 of the Ricky Gervais Show, today!

Ferrit dot co dot en zed.

2006-03-01T10:43:00.000+13:00

Sucks really badly. SO badly that I refuse to link to the site, lest it be counted as a positive hit. UGH

But their advertising's funny :)

I spent approximately 5 seconds on there and left promptly once I realised that everything for sale on there, is for sale on the net elsewhere. It's essentially just a collaboration of a bunch of online stores. So why am I going to buy a pair of shoes, sight unseen, for full retail, when
a) I don't know if they'll fit and
b) I won't get them for ages due to delivery in NZ being so crap.
I could just pop down to my local Westfield, and maybe even get the same shoes on sale!

Let's compare some non clothing type items (without linking to them, ofcourse)

Ferrit:

Canon Digital SLR Camera Twin Lens Kit EOS350DKIT
The combination of Canon's EOS 350D camera and a twin lens pack will ensure great pictures made easy for the developing and semi professional photographer.

$1999 From Noel Leemings

Now, if I wanted to buy a camera from Noel Leemings, I might just go to Noel Leemings to buy it, and hope and pray I can negotiate them down from that ridiculous price. I could even go to Noel Leemings.co.nz, and buy it there - but if Iwanted a Better Price...

CANON EOS 350d KIT - ParallelImported.co.nz

8.0 Megapixel
18-55mm Zoom Comes with 18-55mm Lens
The high resolution digital SLR camera designed for all photographers.
$1399 - From Parallel Imported

AND

AF 70 - 300mm f4-5.6 G Lens

Lightweight 4.3X telephoto zoom lens for SLRs that set aperture from Command DialIdeal lens for candids, travel and sports photographyD-Type design provides precise distance information for flash and ambient light exposure process.
$219 - from Parallel Imported

which totals $1618. $381 cheaper than on Ferrit, and all from the comfort of your own chair.

So why bother with Ferrit at all? Especially when there's Trademe? I LOVE Trademe SO much, that I'm now going to include some of my favourite Trademe auctions in my blogging.

Two such favourites are:

1) Gorgeous Hermes Scarf
2) plain black Pulp Heels that may or may not be too big for me

So, don't bother wasting precious bandwidth on rubbish like Ferrit.

Who do YOU look like?

2006-03-01T08:04:00.000+13:00

Brought to you by Llew @ SunnyO, and Martha @ Wanda Harland - and, of course, me - I give you: MY HERITAGE FACE RECOGNITION.

Apparently I look most like Michelle Rodriguez. *cough* Yeah Right.
The person I look next most like is apparently Tia Carrere. OH how they tease. But get this...

I ALSO look like a black and white photo of Cameron Bloody Diaz.

Stupid websites.

So who do you most look like?

Offended? Change the Channel!

2006-02-23T09:23:00.000+13:00

If you are a Catholic and are highly sensitive, please change to a new site now. If you find offense with the opinion I present on this site, feel free to leave a comment, but do so in a constructive and non-personal manner, like an intelligent person.

I can finally see what had the Catholic Church up in arms about last night's "Bloody Mary" episode. Nothing offensive, however the potential for substantial revenue loss due to that episode is high.

Blood spurting from Mary onto people's faces? Puh-lease.

The Pope saying the word "Vagina" over and over again? Get a grip people, your children say that word in school ALL THE TIME- they will have to write it in an exam at some point in their lives too.

No. The REAL issue that had the NZ Catholic Church representatives up in arms was represented by the AA / Only God can stop alcoholism plot of the episode. The REAL issue was that the show basically told people "Hey, you don't need God to make life changing choices, you can do that yourself".

And that scared the Caths.

And the funny thing? If they hadn't kicked up a fuss about it, no-one would have cared. We would have watched South Park, gone "oh man that was a lame episode, funny alcoholics tho", then forgotten about it until Tom's Scientology episode (coming up soon on C4).

AND as a final question - WHY didn't they care - why didn't ANYONE care - throughout seasons 2/3/4 etc, whenever JESUS was made to do anything untoward? Jesus in South Park is a regularly appearing character, and has been seen drunk at a bar, sloth-ing around the couch watching tv, basically breaking any and all commandments - yet no one blinked so much as an eye-lid.

Why doesn't the Jewish community get up in arms about the way they are portrayed in South Park? As we all know, Cartman constantly persecutes Kyle for being Jewish, and this is one of the show's main storylines. In any plot, any episode, the show can work that in for some extra offensive humour - but whilst the Jewish Community may be offended, my guess is they just CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

So remember people - if you want to let God into your heart, you don't have to go to church. Being a good Christian does not involve emptying your salary into the coffers every Sunday, and does not involve having to sing, especially if you weren't blessed with a voice.

Church is in the heart and soul of the Religious Believer, no matter what religion you believe in. God will love you no matter where you love him.

This applies to Muslims too. Got a problem with a cartoon? Don't Read it.

************************* FLIP SIDE *****************************

TV2/ TV3 - You've always done well in sticking to your guns, but you ruined yourselves when you apologised to the Muslim community for showing the cartoons on the air. You set a precedent there by saying "Hey, if you're a religious community, speak up and we'll admit we're wrong". THEN you flipped the script by saying "But if you're Catholic and offended by South Park - Piss Off".

Either stick to your guns the WHOLE time, or apologise EVERY time. You can't pick and choose religions to acquiesce to. I bet if Rome Bombed Trey Parker and Matt Stone's houses, you'd back down in a second.
You make it really hard for someone like me to argue the point of free speech to others, TV 3, so please, pick a stance and stick with it.

ok. well, now that's over and done with, I shall sit back to receive the hatemail. Not that anyone reads this place. heh.

Holiday Photo Fun!

2006-02-15T11:55:00.000+13:00

Well, I'm back home and in the office now, and might I just say- it's just not cool coming back to work after a holiday.

Singapore was beautiful, Kuala Lumpur was beautiful, Flights were crappy. The wonderful thing about a holiday in another country, however, is that it makes you appreciate what you have back home.

One of the first things you notice about New Zealand, when you step off the plane, is the clean fresh, mostly-odourless air. Crisp mornings are a blessing, and cool breezes are wonderful!
The water that comes out of the tap here - even the chlorinated water in Auckland - is a wonder to behold, as it's not perfumed / fluoridededed.
Stinky peak hour traffic - not so cool.
Being able to wear long pants during the day - cool!
Walking outside and being reminded of winter - not so cool.
Matt and I spent a day at Sentosa Island, full of touristy goodness, spent 3 days in K.L, Malaysia (at the Hilton - woooohooooo), and visited the markets at Petaling Street in Chinatown (craaaziness there, people everywhere - very hard to say no to everyone hawking their wares) - All in All a very eye opening trip, but I loved every minute of it :)

Photos are here at Flickr, I've used up my monthly bandwidth allowance on Flickr, so more will be up next month :)

Crap Crap, crap and Crap

2006-01-27T13:35:00.000+13:00

Goddammit...

Hi Caroline,

New NZ Launch Date for Xbox 360

Auckland, January 27 2006 – Xbox today announced a new launch date in Australia and New Zealand for the Xbox 360™. The new launch date is 12.01am on March 23 2006.

The new launch date has been set due to unprecedented global consumer demand and short-term manufacturing issues due to component shortages stemming from challenges in ramping supply. The move ensures that the markets will have an adequate supply of Xbox 360 consoles to meet demand at launch.

Xbox 360 is well on its way to becoming the fastest-selling video game console in history, and remains on track to meet the year end forecast to ship between 4.5 million and 5.5 million consoles worldwide by the end of June 2006.

Gameplanet Store

NZ 4 and Rotary Nationals Weekend - a reflection

2006-01-27T10:09:00.000+13:00

Well, first let me start off by saying that game of the week is postponed until I work out some technical issues with the 'puter, and will be replaced with "Hotel of the week" brought to you from The Hilton in Kuala Lumpur and The Carlton in Singapore, next week and the following week respectively.

Until then, let us (the NZ car enthisiasts, us, not the ARGers us, or the shoppers us) reflect on past Nationals weekends, as this is the 10th anniversary.

From what I am told, the first Nationals's(eseseses) were held in Taupo, in an open air environment, as a basic show and shine. No flashy lights/dj's/promo girls etc, just your typical rotary parked up for a day of showing off - Rx 2s and 3s and the like in their original (or originally restored) glory. I"m not sure if MREC organised it then, but it quickly evolved from a small group of Wankel enthusiasts into a large gathering of petrol heads.

I didn't personally get around to the Nationals until Labour Weekend 2000 (prior to that I lived in Christchurch). In those days you were the absolute man if you could pull a low 13 out of your 2l. Rotangs were doing mid 14s - 15s, and you could always count on Reece McGregor to bog the change to 2nd. Ronnie Lim was doing 11s in his still black standard looking integra, and Brett Lee Sang was hidden in the dark shadow of his older brother Quin (1600cc fwd famila hatch). Justin Rood wasn't NZ's drift king, he was the overall knockout winner of the drags in a purple 12 second GTiR. That year I had the worst sun stroke ever, but still managed to get into town that night, to witness the infamous Nationals boyracer'ism. Drags down Quay Street, car to car violence and threats down Queen Street, and the everlasting drag chain down the South Western Motorway towards Neilson Street and Montgomerie Road.

Since then, times have changed. You're not special unless you're a street car pulling 10s. 11s are the norm, and the battle for fastest import is down to the 7s. Reece McGregor is now one of the ballsiest drivers to hit the strip (and he can change gear in his straight cut dog box). Ronnie Lim, in his bright blue and green Mag And Turbo, is a consistent (pending drivetrain durability) 10second driver, and there's more focus on the show scene than ever before.

Ofcourse, with time and progress comes a new generation of enthusiast. Ofcourse, these enthusiast types have always been around, but they are expressed in different ways. It used to be the bogan in the sacked out matte black escort, now it's the dude in the big baggy pants, way down their asses, in the sacked out, camo (insert common jap import here), blaring the latest tunes from Jay-Z. It used to be diesel burnouts in empty industrial streets - now it's high speed car vs car races down busy main roads. I'm not expressing an opinion here, but holding the topic open for thought. The amount of money being spent on these cars nowadays is stupid (Matt and I are case and point), but is the application any more efficient? Have we learnt anything more from the days of old, or are our turbos just bigger and shinier? Are we spending money in the right places, or just pouring it down the drain?

I'll be back next week with a Flickr link (hopefully) for images etc from the show and drags, and results of the weekend - Cross your fingers for us, or come down to the Show and Shine and vote for us in Peoples Choice - EVLGSR!!! I'd like the Best Mitsi $1000 cheque to help with shopping in Singapore please!

Another hot car bites the dust...

2006-01-24T13:42:00.000+13:00

Following on from the Lambo incident, a Ford GT40 loses his footing (and probably his insurance record, his mortgage, and his credit rating), up Redoubt Road, in Manukau, Auckland this morning around 11:30 am ish. Prior to the incident, this vehicular masterpiece was worth approximately $470 000.

Doesn't it make ya wanna cry???

I've edited out the plate and won't reveal the name of the person this happened to, but I can say on good authority the driver is fine.

Game of the week: "Spartan: Total Warrior" (xbox)

2006-01-18T09:10:00.000+13:00

This week's game of the week (yes, I know I've been a little slack lately, but come on - it's the holidays!) was a major 2005 entry from Sega into the world of beat 'em up console gaming. Combining the proven talents of Creative Assembly and Sega (America and Europe), these two (or three, if you will) gaming development companies put together this "genre defining" game - "Spartan: Total Warrior".

The game centres around one lone, Spartan warrior (you), and his shirtless and violent battle to stop the Romans conquering Sparta. Aided by various comrades-in-arms, and tasked with various dangerous, and sometimes infuriating, missions, it is your job to protect your fair city, and countryside from Roman Emperor Tiberius and his army.

Total Warrior splits gameplay between three main acts (Warrior, Hero and Legend) each of which contain four chapters. Ancient mythology, and futuristic science lend bits of their magic to the game, to produce weapons such as a laser harnessing the power of Medusa - that turns people into stone with pin point precision. With technology and powers such at this at their disposal, the Romans soon become a very tough enemy, and this translates into harder and harder gameplay throughout the course of your Spartan's life. Unfortunately, like many others before it, this game, at times, appears seemingly impossible, and gets increasingly frustrating, leading to an incomplete game.

The controls are relatively easy to master, but my only complaint is the camera. Like all third person type games (except, perhaps, the Splinter Cell franchise), the camera is very limiting and restricting when in bow and arrow mode, and sometimes you can end up shooting everything but your life or death target.

Accompanied by a loud and bassy rock soundtrack, and occasional cheers and jeers from Ares, God of War, fight scenes take on an almost surreal movie-like feel. I half expected Rocky to jump out from behind a rock with a great roar and take on the fire spitting hydra with his bare hands at one point, but he didn't. Now that would make a cool movie!

Overall, this game is for those of us who sometimes get sick of intelligent stealthy games. It's for the gamers who just want to let loose and kill stuff. Ok granted, there are no guns, but bow and arrows, exploding naptha pots, spears and giant hammers more than make up for the lack of firepower. A very very worthy game, marred only by its camera.

Graphics: 7.5/10
Controls: 8.5/10
Storyline: 7/10
Soundtrack: 9/10 (though somewhat inappropriate for an Ancient Greek war game)
Gameplay: 7.5/10

Overall: 7.9/10 - Not quite an 8, but definitely not a 7.5. Definitely a game worth buying, and playing over and over again.

Next week's game of the week will be the "Rome: Total War" expansion pack: "Barbarian Invasion" by Sega.

**thanks to teamxbox for the screenshot used in this review
*** if anyone else would like me to review a game for them, please email me at caronz@gmail.com. I can review PC, Xbox, and in 1.5 months, PAL xbox360 games!

So-Called-Wit

Baileys Mint Chocolate Mousse

From the ashes...

Neglected much?

Stop Childhood Racism

Snow, Gadgetry, Alcohol, Games

Intelligence...

Fine Dining - what is it?

Ever wanted to set a world record?

Customer Satisfaction

So true...

Inventive Advertising

Build a bridge...

Triumphant Return!

New Glasses!

365 Days - Progress - 365:1

Where does the time go?

Happy New Year!!!

To Summarise...

I <3 JT

*excitement*

Un co-ordination

'Do Gooders' Lose

Join the Craze!

To Do list...

GIFT REGISTRY!

Wedding Update

Passing on the Tales of Woe

Stuff and Whatnot

Hairy!

Planning

TGIF!

Stand Against Child Abuse!

America to the Rescue!

Home again

Planning

Ohhhh My Glutes...

Ni Hao - from Shanghai!

Wibble!

Busy...

Why on Earth would anyone do this....

What Attracts You?

How to see The Late Show Live!

Here Fishy Fishy Fishy

Stage 2

Hard Yakka

Home Improvements (or D.I.Y Disaster)

Home sweet home...

Dude

The Greatest City on Earth

Photos are up!

What happens in Vegas...

New Year, New Post, New Blogging habits... New York?

Photos from the weekend!

Maybe I'll just take a long swim in the formaldehyde with the squid...

Paintergate, Corngate, Doonegate, Speedgate, Pledgegate........ stadiumgate?

IKEA IS COMING!!!

MEME TIME

The Monarchy

Recap!

PXTography

live blogging foodpoisoning day 5

Live Blogging - Food Poisoning

Interesting Email - Stroke Identification

MicroMachines V4!

Spring has Sprung

Don't take a knife to a gun fight...

The World is ending...

Mission Complete

Saturday Night's Alright for Junk Food!

When Slang turns bad

Part Four

Part Three

Atrocities from The Herald

The day the bus caught on fire

Monday - Great story Part 1

Keeping it SIMple

Church and State...

Post rated R18

For Phil

excitement